Workshop - Half Moon Bay, CA - 1974 - Part 2 of 4
by
Robert Rhondell Gibson
In creating a companion to the audio files found in the “Links” section, we strive to give
the reader as close a verbatim transcript as possible.
Dr. Bob’s laid-back “Kentucky-ese” is retained – not correcting his grammar makes reading it
sound like he’s actually talking. In addition, he purposefully used not only specific words,
but also pronunciation, grammar, and dialect as tools to get the listener’s attention.
Honoring his choices, we’ve made sure in these Verbatim Transcripts
not to take it upon ourselves to “clean it up” for him.
NOTE:
Audience (laughter) is noted; he was a master at keeping the mood up!
(Audience participation is parenthesized and separated from his words.)
Speakers’ emphasized words are in italics.
Some tenets of the Teachings are in bold type.
[Anything that offers clarity is added by the proofreader and italicized inside brackets.]
Access the mp3 at:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/bjsnni9menko397/AAAXm9X-MKTl3XGsaXmrSq08a?dl=0
CD #3 of 7
Now, we basically all believe that we know what ought to be, which would mean to be the way I want it to be – my ideal. So what “ought to be” or what “should be” is basically based upon ideal. Now, the ideal is only a picture of the mind – it has nothing to do with reality. So if I know what ought to be for you – hmm? – no doubt I would find a few flaws in you, okay? But I don’t see you as somethin’ you ought to be. You are a unique work of art and I don’t see any flaws in it, okay? None whatsoever. If I had an ideal for you, there’s somethin’ wrong with you. And if I had an ideal for Esther, there’s somethin’ wrong with her; and if I had one for Lisa, I’d see somethin’ wrong with her and it could go on down the line everywheres. So everybody’s got flaws, so much so that there is an old statement that said, “Well, nobody’s perfect.” That right? But I think everybody’s perfect for the simple reason that there’s not another one like you anywheres in the whole world, huh?
(Mm-mm.)
Two Worlds
There’s not another one like you. And if there’s only one of anything, what are you gonna compare it to to see if it’s perfect? So we’ll put out here a little bit about “two worlds.” I think it kind of fits here. [Writes it on the board.] So, there is the “manmade world” and there is the “real world.” Now, in the manmade world is the world that we make things. Now, John manufactures some nice valves, and they have a standard, a drawing for one thing, is that right? They got the drawing. That’s the standard. And then you check the finished product against the drawing and if they don’t fit the drawing, that one’s got a flaw. But that’s all manmade. Now, is there a drawing made for each one of us before we got here or was we a big surprise to somebody – or a disappointment – which was it?
(Definitely a surprise.)
A surprise when it got here, okay? So now there’s a unique work of art and there’s never been another like you, right? It just don’t exist. Now, what are we gonna compare you to? A block of wood? I could go out here and buy a wooden statue and be carved by some great artist, sculpture and carved in wood and I roll it up here and say, “Now I’m gonna check you ladies out.” You come up here and stand next to it and I’m gonna see how close to perfect you are. I’m gonna assume that wooden block is perfect, okay? Because it was made by some great artist. Well, some of you would be too tall and some would be too wide and some wouldn’t be wide enough and we could go on and on and on and on, and everybody’s got a flaw, right? But now if I’m gonna take somethin’ out to dinner tonight or spend the evening visitin’ with, which one do you think I want? This block of wood or one of you, huh? (laughter) That’s simple.
So you see that these ideals are strictly “illusions.”
So in the manmade world
we have the world of standards and ideals and ideas and all these.
I could have some idea about something or other, doesn’t matter what and I could go out and teach it and then I could give you an exam to see how close you answered everything to agree with me, is that right? I could flunk you if you didn’t answer ‘em right, and I’m well within the grounds because I said that was my idea and now you come and said you want to study it and I taught it and then I examined you. That’d be all right.
Now, we can have an ideal as to how far the house is supposed to be back from the curb or we can set up standards for buildings and see how thick the beams are supposed to be and how many tons of air conditioning is supposed to be up there for the size of the room and we could go on and on – those are all manmade. Now, you can certainly flick ‘em out if they don’t fit. So I can order me a pair of shoes. I write and say I want a certain size of shoe to a company I’ve done business with and they send ‘em to me and I put ‘em on and go on because they’re made accordin’ to a standard for the shoes, according to that drawing, okay?
But now when I come down to Darryl here, there is no standard as much as I’d like to have one. (laughter) There is just no standard for him, is that right – because there’s not another one like him, thank goodness. And so there is no way you could say he should be different than what he is because there he is and he’s a unique work of art. Now the real world is a world of real living beings, no two of which are alike – no two of ‘em’s alike. Even the so-called “identical twins” they’re not quite that much alike – they have different fingerprints, they have a lot of other differences in ‘em. And so it goes along.
Now, we’ve set up down here somewheres, the standard of “good.” [Writes these on the board.] And we’ve set up a standard called “normal.” And we’ve set up a standard called “pretty.” And we’ve set up another standard of things that are “in” – we all know about those. So, there has been a great profession built around each one of these standards, right? Now, who sets up the standard for “good?” You said a while ago they’d had one set up for you.
So theology set up a standard for “good,” is that right?
(Mm-mm.)
And it’s according to which theology they went to as to whether it’s good or not, huh? I remember Jeanine wanted some coffee one time – severely. (laughter) And she was associated with a religious group that said coffee was…
(Bad.)
A no-no. So I wrote her a prescription for three strong cups of coffee every morning. Now, it was all right if she had a prescription for it. (laughter) I still carried a license around in those days so I could write prescriptions. So I wrote a prescription for three large strong cups of coffee every mornin’, is that right?
(That’s right.)
And then she could drink her coffee and no guilties (laughter) because she had a little prescription for it. I wrote it down. Do you still have it?
(I do.)
You’re still doin’ it every day. So otherwise she could not have, do you see? She’da felt horribly guilty and she had been in a horrible conflict of feelin’ guilty and wantin’ that coffee day in and day out for how long?
(Years.)
Years. So we remedied that with one simple prescription do you see? Okay? So they set up that standard, so theology set up a standard of “good.” And, of course, many different people had different theologies, is that right?
(Uh-huh.)
Now, you know, some people down the street they’d never think – the preachers and everybody drinks the coffee, is that right? No bother at all. And you could go to dances – that’s where you could arrange to get married right soon was goin’ to dances, is that right? But I know a lot of ‘em that dancin’ is the back door to hell, you know? They had a song even – “You can’t get to heaven on a dance floor – you dance right in the devil’s back door.” And, you know, they sung that in their little churches and so forth. So that’s a no-no. Now, some of ‘em it’s quite all right to gamble if you gamble with money after you’ve taken care of your family, okay – all your obligations. And you got some left over, you can gamble. There’s others you can’t gamble at all, it’s just terrible, horrible, evil stuff. Some you can get divorces and get married again and some of ‘em that’s a no-no-no-no-no-no-no of the first water. And it goes on and on – you name it and somebody said it was bad.
The only thing I haven’t seen prohibited was eatin’ rocks. (laughter) And did you notice that if you could think of somethin’ would be detrimental to your health, wouldn’t eatin’ gravel be it, huh? Wouldn’t it? Have you ever seen signs around that says, “It’s dangerous to your health to eat gravel,” huh? You’ve seen it on about everything else – somebody said bacon’s bad; another one said eggs are bad; another one said bread’s bad; and another one says sugar’s bad and another one says salt’s bad. Heck, you can go through the whole list, is that right? Do you know of anything that isn’t easier seen?
(Not lately.)
No, it’s all bad.
(Everything’s got something bad about it.)
Oh, it’d kill you. I one time put out a little thing that everybody that had eaten a…that had died in the last two years had been eatin’ pickles at some time or other in their life and so, obviously, there was a cause-effect relationship between eatin’ pickles and dyin’, you know, but... A friend of mine had a radio station in Phoenix at that time and he read it on the air on a Sunday afternoon when you’d think very few people would be listenin’ to the radio but he read it. And he mentioned before he started – oh, three or four minutes before he read this thing about the pickles – that it was a joke. But by the time he got around to readin’ it, nobody had, everybody’d forgotten about the joke and he had over 500 calls in the afternoon about pickles. “How quick does it affect you” and so forth. (laughter) “How soon are you gonna die,” And all this kind of stuff. So you know, if you want to look at cause/effect relationship, water is probably one of the more dangerous things; because everybody’s been…died or sick that’s been drinkin’ water, is that right?
(laughter) (That’s right.) (Yes.)
Do you remember in Salt Lake City one time the little old lady back in the back – Mrs., uh…
(Genevieve.)
Oh yeah, old Genevieve Walton. And I made that blurb about the water and she jumped up and said, “Well, Dr. Bob what are we gonna drink?!” She was one of those that couldn’t drink coffee even, so I said, “How about corn liquor?” (laughter) And, you know, that isn’t...not everybody’s been drinkin’ it so you couldn’t use it as a cause/effect relationship. [he chuckles] But she didn’t think much of that, poor little soul.
So when we get down to seein’ who made the “normal” here. Who come up with that one, hmm? That you’re normal?
(The doctors.)
Well, that’s the healing art – the whole slew of it.
The “healing art” – they set up a standard for “normal”
and did you ever that notice that nobody fits it? Nobody.
I studied that art, too; and for two years – they told us the first two years when we started the school – they said, “For the first two years you will study the normal so that when you get into clinics and so forth in the third and fourth and fifth years you will recognize the abnormal.” Well, that sounded real reasonable to me; but for three, two years we studied those drawings, John. But these were people; but we studied drawings just like you were whittled out in a factory, you know? And then when I’d seen a real one, nobody fit it. So everybody’s a patient if you go to the doctor. Now, if you stay away, you’re not a patient, you’re nuts, you know? But you might be healthy, who knows? But the point is, if you go to a doctor, they’ll find somethin’ wrong with you, right? Somethin’ is not quite like that drawing. So we’re all rejects accordin’ to that. So then we all have – we’re not normal, so we must be “abnormal.”
And, of course, we can’t all be “good” accordin’ to these rules. Could you be good with all your theological training? So you felt you were bad, is that right? And now if you go to the doctor, you’re not only bad from theology, but you’re abnormal now.
Now, the next one is “pretty.”
Now, big business sets the standard for “pretty”, is that right?
You wear a suit that was made five years ago?
(Out.)
Out! Terrible, it’s ugly. If you got a car that isn’t a classic that’s over two years old your car is ugly, is that right? You need a new model, is that right? If you got a classic, why you can hang on to that – pay great gobs of money to keep it runnin’, right? [He chuckles.] Buy three new ones for what you can keep it runnin’ for; but that’s all right. So “pretty” is set up by big business – a house is pretty if it’s a certain model, right? And if it’s a little older it…
(You gotta change it.)
You gotta rebuild it – get those damn dormers off there and make it over so it’ll be pretty. It’s a standard on it. So, we have big business takin’ care of that one. And we’re all not pretty, we’re “ugly” because somethin’ just don’t fit – you haven’t bought all the proper cosmetics, you haven’t bought somethin’. Somethin’s wrong or you wouldn’t be ugly, is that…but you’re ugly, is that right? You don’t quite fit it, hmm? (laughter) Right? Nobody fits it.
Now, the next one of course is “in.”
Now, “in” is according to what you believe of all the propaganda
that’s going around this week.
Now, it’s “in” to hate South Africa this week, no, it’s…yeah, it’s “in” to do that, right? It’s “in” to stick up for AIDS patients to go to school. Now, if I was a AIDS patient, the last place I’d want to go is school; they’re regular bug factories. And you’re supposed to have no immunity, what do you want to go down there and get in with all those people carryin’ bugs from every house in town, huh? But that’s “right.”
So rights are “in” regardless of what else. The whole bigot thing this week is “rights,” hmm? And you don’t have a one. Because anybody that you think you got a “right,” it could be taken away from you just one, two, three, like that. So I have lots of privileges, but I have no rights. That’s another one of those you want to see, see different, okay? You have lots of privileges, but you don’t have a right one because you don’t have anything can’t be taken away from you, is that right there – even your life. We don’t even have a right to be alive – some joker with a rock can take that away from us right quick or if he’s strong enough, he can “kkkkch” – do it with his bare hands, right?
(Uh-huh.)
So we don’t have any rights, but everything now is to stick up for somebody’s rights, is that correct? All over, that’s the “in” thing. Well, I’m not in favor of anybody havin’ any rights, they got privileges and it’s accordin’ to what I do with it, huh? I don’t have any right to be out runnin’ around the freeway, on the streets and the highways. I have the privilege of doin’ it as long as I play all the games accordin’ to the rules, I might get to continue, is that right? But if I don’t play the game accordin’ to the rules, some guy with a flashin’ light on top of it stops me out there. I don’t have a right, I have the privilege of gettin’ as drunk as I want to and I have the privilege of goin’ to get in the car and drivin’ it – while dog drunk, is that right? But I’m liable to lose it, hmm? So my privilege gets lost by assuming it for a “right.”
If I mistake a privilege for a right,
it’s the best way in the world to lose your privileges, is that correct?
(Yes.)
Can you handle that one all right? We don’t have any rights. So but we have goin’ on. So “in” is power policies – that’s the people that influence public opinion, I believe they’re called. So does basically everybody instead of having/giving yourself the proper amount of attention and approval, you feel you’re bad, ugly, abnormal and “out?” Is that about right? Hmm?
(You’re left out.)
You’re “bad” because you didn’t live up to all the theological standards, right? You’re ugly because you haven’t bought all the newest things that is available to be bought that makes you pretty – the new house, the new cars, the new clothes, the new everything. You see one of the big one in men is these lapels. Now, I’ve got some perfectly good clothes that the lapel comes out about here. I wouldn’t wear it for nothin’ – it’s not pretty anymore, huh? But you hang it up in a closet and keep it wrapped up – in about ten years from now, it’ll be very “in” except the pant legs will be too skinny or too wide – one or the other. But the lapels will get there.
Now another one is the ties. Now, they go from strings to chest protectors. (laughter) Right? But you wouldn’t dare wear one of the wrong kind, would you? You wouldn’t wear it, you know – if you really wanna be called a hick, wear one of those chest protectors, they ought to be about this wide. Just wear it out and see what happens; everybody laughs. So it’s not pretty is it, right? So big business keeps goin’ only by completely changin’ the styles. Would you wear something that was totally out of style? Huh? No. Would you wear a mini skirt today? No, they’re headin’ for the ground, aren’t they? (laughter) They’re getting’ longer and longer, you know?
(I’ve been looking, they got ‘em up here, too.)
Yeah, I know, but they, they’re tryin’ to sell those on sale – they’re not goin’ good.
(Okay.)
The longer ones – they’re gettin’ longer, way down there now before they’re “in.” You can tell how old a dress is by lookin’ to see how long it is. Right? I look. And “in” is if you should have the least idea that everybody shouldn’t have total rights to do whatever they want to do when they want to do it and etcetera, etcetera. Now, if you lived outside of South Africa, minorities have rights; but in the union of South Africa, majority has the rights – did you notice that? Here the minorities have all the rights. If you don’t believe it, we got to stick up for those minority rights, is that right, Paul?
(Yes.)
Huh?
(You got it correct.)
That right?
(That’s right.)
But now if I go to South Africa and I start talkin’ about stickin’ up for minorities, I’m talkin’ about the wrong folks – got to kill those jerks and let the majority run it. That’s funny – you know, we’re not even consistent with this path, huh? But, in any place, you’re bad, ugly, abnormal, and “out.” Then is it any wonder that people don’t have a very good self-image and give themselves the proper amount of attention and approval, huh? Is that right? That correct? Now…huh? If you unknowingly or knowingly felt – if you pushed at any time – it would come out that you’re bad, ugly, abnormal, and out, is that right? You just don’t follow along. So, no wonder people don’t have enough attention and approval. So how are you gonna give yourself approval when you know you’re bad, ugly, abnormal and out, huh?
(That’s right.)
But that’s for the birds.
You’re not bad, ugly, abnormal, and out.
You’re a unique work of art
and there is no standard for you whatsoever, hmm?
Are you too fat?
(Do you say that? If you say so.)
I didn’t say so, I asked you a question.
(I don’t really think I am.)
I don’t think so, I think you’re beautiful, okay? In other words, what is “in,” you know? Is this “in” and this “out” or is they both all right, hmm? I think you’re wonderful. You’re beautiful and you’re beautiful.
(Thank you.)
You don’t look alike, but you know.
(Just like our mother said.)
Any work of art is all that is beautiful the last time I looked at it. I would hardly think that I could look at some mass-produced object out of, pull one out of a case of 24, and talk about it being beautiful. It may be workable, it may be attractive, it may be designed well, but I wouldn’t think about it as being beautiful, would you? No way. If I pulled one dowel out of a box and took a look at it, I’d think it’s a good-lookin’ object, it’s well-designed, but I’d hardly call it beautiful – functional, workable...
(Some of them are beautiful.) (Laughter)
Yes, some of ‘em are pretty nice, John made ‘em, they’re pretty then. (laughter) Some of ‘em are real pretty; but it hasn’t anything to do with living things at all. So if we looked at living things, would you say that any of ‘em are bad, ugly, abnormal and out anymore; or would you go ahead and feel that way, huh? Now, if you would a been in a different theology, you would have had a different thing that was “bad,” and you’da felt just as bad about doin’ that as you did the things you did do, is that right? And the ones you did was quite all right; but if you’da belonged to the theology she did – was it all right for you to drink coffee or was that a no-no?
(Oh, for me, yeah, it was all right.)
It was all right to drink coffee. But she couldn’t drink coffee, so she felt miserable and felt like she was a horrible sinner for even thinkin’ about it; but she kept on sinnin’, as usual. But if you’da been in her shoes, it wouldn’t have been coffee you was feelin’ bad about but something else, is that right?
(Mm-hmm.)
It’s just different. What’s the difference? So I don’t know what’s “good,” Leland. I know what fits my taste. I do know that and I don’t say that that’s the thing to do or not to do – that’s up to me to figure whether it fits my frame of reference or not, okay? And my frame of reference… but certainly I would have a hard time feeling guilty over drinkin’ a cup of coffee. If I did, I’d sure feel guilty all day long every day, you know? I don’t drink more than 20 cups of coffee a day usually. Some days – long days – might be a little more...and a cigarette, that was unheard of, is that right?
(Oh yes, definitely, that was not acceptable.)
That just wasn’t even considered.
(A what?)
A cigarette. One guy came to a meeting down at Borrega Springs when we were down there and obviously he saw me smokin’ a cigarette because if I was there, I was smokin’ a cigarette, you know, somewheres around. And he came over and said, “I might as well leave, I can’t learn anything from anybody that smokes a cigarette.” (laughter) I said, “You are absolutely right, hit the road then.” Then he felt rejected so he stuck around. (laughter) I told him, “Get along,” you know? But that – can you imagine anybody sayin’ a thing like that?
(Yeah, I can imagine it. I hear things like that all the time.)
What ought to be…
Okay, so now let’s get back to “do we know what ought to be?” Now, if I think I know what ought to be, I’m in a conflict right now, is that correct? Because then I’ll guarantee you there’s not much gonna be that way is that right, Teresa?
(Right.)
There’s gonna be not a whole lot that way. So I’ve got a big conflict to go on. No matter what it’s about or anything else, I got a conflict if I decide I know what “ought to be.” Now, where would we get all that information? Do you know the future?
(No.)
Do you know a minute ahead?
(No.)
So if you come up with a certain thing ought to happen today and you didn’t know what was gonna happen down the road – it’s like the man with the horse, you know?
(Yeah, mm-hmm.)
He didn’t know his son’d get his leg broke ‘cause he didn’t know the next guy comin’ by was gonna conscript his son, take him off on a suicide mission for the king, huh?
(Right.)
So, hold on…but if he hadn’t a broken his leg, he’d be dead. So suppose you would have missed your airplane – one of these several of the 19 of ‘em in the last few months that didn’t make it, hmm? Would you have thought that was terrible, Leland?
(No.)
“Missed my airplane…[grumbles].” And then the durn thing crashes out there after while, huh? Was that good or bad – if you know what oughta be – ‘cause you didn’t know the thing was gonna crash so you wouldn’t be all upset because you missed the plane, huh? Right? And if you don’t know the future – not even a minute ahead, do you?
(No.)
So how do you know what oughta be? Now, maybe there’s some little unpleasant situation goin’ on right now; but I don’t know what the alternative to me havin’ that happen. Maybe a little inconvenience but what would’a happened had it didn’t happen? Do you know that? Do you know? Do you?
(No.)
You haven’t the foggiest. Now, how could you ever sit and tell me that you know what ought to be?
(It’s not knowing what ought to be, it’s you know what you want.)
Oh well, that’s a horse of a pony of another color. We mostly don’t even know that.
(True.) (That’s probably pretty true.)
Not “pretty,” but it’s true. That we think we know what we want, but we really don’t even know that because I’ve watched it changed totally within like three seconds – totally. Have you ever had that to happen, Paulette? One minute I’ve just gotta have this – it’s everything there is – and the next minute I wouldn’t have it on a silver platter. So you don’t even know what you really want. You know something might appeal to you at this moment; but if it took eight minutes to get it, you may not want it. [chuckling]
(Yeah, okay.)
You really, in eight minutes, you may be totally changed over, is that right, Darryl? Huh? You’ve had that to happen, is that right? Didn’t want it to go on. So we have no idea of knowing what ought to be, but most conflict between two or more people is over the idea that one of ‘em knows what ought to be; and the other one’s not doin’ it, so then it gets goin’. Yes, sir…
(What about pain?)
What about pain? If you didn’t have any pain, you think that that would be a good situation?
(Right.)
I met a man one time, he came in my office back when I used to practice. He had had an accident which broke his neck and the neck was painful. He went to a physician or surgeon and they took some fragments of bone out of his neck but when he got all over it, his hand was totally numb. Now, he had the motor function but he didn’t have any sensory function in this one hand. He worked in a mill – I think it was a flour mill, grindin’ mill – where he handled big valves that could be very hot. So he goes down there and turns the valves and gets his hand off, the skin left on the valve – it was cooked. He didn’t even know it, hmm? Now, he didn’t feel any pain, he didn’t even feel any pain when it pulled the skin off and everything but he couldn’t work for a number of days. Then when he finally got so he could work, he learned to use this hand to go feel of it first before he put this one on to do the work because he found that pain told him what was goin’ on. Would you think that you would be in a good shape if something could be done to you today that you would never have another pain? Think that would be good?
(Not after hearing that.) (Laughter)
Well, you’d have to have her go along and touch everything and taste everything and eat all the food to see if it was tainted or anything else. You know, did you ever have food poisoning? I have – it was very painful. But I’ve also learned to taste of it and spit it out, huh? You spit it out, why? Because it tastes painful. It’s unpleasant, “un-nice” to you, huh? Most things that are very poisonous don’t taste very good. So if you could not have pain, you would be in intense danger, you couldn’t live even remotely a natural life. Somebody’s got to follow you all the time. You know, you could eat some glass and it would cut a hole through your gut but you wouldn’t feel any discomfort.
(What about chronic pain? A pain that lasts for years.)
Well, that reminds you to get around to changin’ your lifestyle a little bit or get used to it – one or the other because the pain is all the same – it’s telling you something’s screwed up, isn’t that right? Hmm?
(Yeah.)
And if you didn’t have that sense, it’d be worse than being blind. Now, you know, we’ve all been taught by goin’ to these people that set up “normal” was that it’s simply atrocious to have any pain for a few minutes, is that right? You take this pill, that pill, half of the advertising on TV is selling you a painkiller, is that right? I hope you never get one that works. Because if they do, everybody’ll be guzzlin’ it down and everybody’ll be falling apart – right quick, okay?
[END OF CD #3 OF 7]
CD #4 of 7
...even more than pleasure is – it’s [pain] more essential to survival. You can survive without much pleasure, but you would be in a horrible mess if you didn’t have pain. It wouldn’t tell you – you wouldn’t know anything was haywire, right?
So don’t knock pain.
It’s Life talkin’ to you and telling you in no uncertain terms, somethin’s goofed up.
Usually you.
Okay? And then it’s tellin’ you to do something. If you didn’t know it was there, you wouldn’t do anything about anything; you’d just go ahead and wreck it out, is that right, Darryl?
(That’s right.)
Do you think pain’s bad? No way.
(Absolutely love it.) (laughter)
I don’t like to have pain – don’t kid yourself, I don’t like it. But I also know it’s tellin’ me somethin’ very essential, hmm? Very essential. So it’s tellin’ you how to take care of yourself. Say you have got a chronic situation, it tells you how not to go ahead and damage it still further, doesn’t it? Tells you it hurts if you do so-and-so. Say that you had a broken leg and it’d hurt to walk on it – did you ever try that?
(Yes.)
It hurts to walk on it. But if you kept on goin’ on it, you would lose the leg, at the least – more than likely your life – but you’d certainly lose your leg. So aren’t you glad that you have this warning signal that tells you to slow down, man, knock it off, hmm? Is that all right?
(That’s good.)
You’ll remember that.
(Yes.)
You won’t forget it, pain’s not bad. It may be unpleasant, but it’s not bad, okay?
And so, if we know what ought to be, we’re in conflict with everybody around us basically because they’re not doin’ the appropriate thing, are they? If you know what ought to be, they’re not living up to it – I’ll guarantee you that, is that correct? No matter who it is, hmm?
(Right.)
Whether it’s a wife, daughter, son, employer, employee, business associate, or anything else, they’re not doin’ it, are they? So if we could see, “I don’t know what ought to be,” we could just get that one idea totally out of our mind.
What’s here I can respond to.
What oughta be, I can’t do a thing in the world about –
I can’t even respond to that, can I?
No matter what you say or do, I can respond to that in some way or other.
But I can’t respond to what you ought to do
because it’s never been done.
Okay, so then if I can see that, I would eliminate most of the anxiety and struggles in myself, can you see that please, Miss Jeanine? You don’t know what ought to be. And you couldn’t respond to anything that’s not there, is that correct?
(Very correct.)
But you can respond to what’s here, okay?
(Yes.)
Okay. That you can handle.
(Yes.)
The other only leaves you totally frustrated, isn’t it? You can’t respond to a husband you don’t have.
(Yes.)
Huh?
(Uh-huh.)
And that leaves you all frustrated – sometimes.
(Uh-huh.)
Sometimes… on Tuesday nights but with…
(Saturday nights!)
Saturday night? Friday and Saturday – date night, that’s the only time it bothers you.
(The rest of the time it’s okay.)
The rest of it’s all right – good riddance, right? [chuckling] Huh?
(That’s right.)
Okay, so but you can get yourself all worked up on Friday night and Saturday night.
(Real well.)
Right. But you’re not responding to anybody that’s there.
(This is true.)
Okay, so you can’t deal with that. Now, another thing – you don’t know what ought to be. Maybe you had a lovely date and you go out and you get clobbered; so you know...
(I’ve had a few of those.)
You’ve had a few of those. So you don’t need those all the time. So you don’t know what ought to be. Maybe you get the Night Stalker, cut you to pieces. Yes, ma’am?
(Well, there’s one of the kids that has been part of our family, I know what ought to be and when I see him, I go into a state of anxiety.)
Right, because you know what oughta be.
(Right.)
But if you didn’t know what oughta be, if he’s just what he is, huh? He’s just what he is.
(Well, I like to block it off.)
Well, you’re talking about what you want, you’re not talking about… but you feel what you want is what oughta be; and maybe he’s better off bein’ an idle wheel. You know ever machine that runs at high speed has to have a governor – an idle wheel, is that right, John?
(Right.)
If you didn’t have an idle wheel on your tractor, the engine would fly all to pieces, isn’t that right? So everybody else runnin’ at high speed, I don’t see why you shouldn’t have this idle wheel around.
(Well, I feel like I’m gettin’ taken for a ride.)
No.
(I’m not?)
No. You’re taking yourself for a ride by gettin’ all agitated; but when you see, well, if your big car out there – your big convertible – and didn’t have a fly wheel on it, what would happen to the engine when you tried to run it?
(It’d come apart.)
It’d just come apart. Now, you’re pretty high speed, John’s pretty high speed, and everybody else around the house is high speed, even old Rochelle when she comes in, she’s on high speed. And if you didn’t have this idler on it…
(So all I have to do is slow down and I don’t need the idler.)
Right.
(Okay.)
Maybe it can go away. But as it is, it’s essential to have it, Marilyn.
(All right.)
Okay. All right, any other questions, comments? We’ll talk a minute. Yes, sir?
(What keeps coming up for me right now are the people that are starving in Africa.)
Right.
(And how…that bothers me; that’s not right to me.)
Well, I agree, but what are you gonna do about it?
(That’s where I get frustrated.)
Then you put your attention where there’s somethin’ more in line that you can do somethin’ about. Now, maybe there’s a lost satellite out there in the sky somewheres that may someday fall on us, huh? May hit you on the head. In the meantime, I don’t think you’re gonna worry very much about it, is that right? Now, we have compassion for all the things in the world goin’ on; and there’s only one reason that all these things happen and you’re not gonna stop that. You’re not gonna stop governments very quickly, and they’re the only reason that all these terrible things go on basically, okay? So, forget about it. When there’s somethin’ you can do about it, do it; and if there’s nothin’ you can do about it why even rattle over it, okay? Can you tell me that, Jimmy? Huh? If there isn’t anything I can do about it, it’s none of my business, is that correct?
(I don’t know.)
Well, if you can do anything about it, then it’s your business, isn’t it?
But if you can’t do anything about it,
is it any of your business?
(Well, it seems like maybe if I talk about it enough –)
That’d be wonderful. All you’re doin’ is exercisin’ your jaw muscles. You haven’t done anything. Can you do anything about it? No.
(As part of this “control” business, I can make you responsible because –)
Well, I know but you’re not, you can’t do it; you didn’t have anything to do with it one way or the other. And it’s not in a place where you can do. Now, there’s a lot of things in front of you, you can do somethin’ about, Dmitry. Just take care of those and you’ll forget about the Africans, okay. You’re not there. And there’s nothin’ you can do about it. Now if you got $10 to contribute to the African fund, you do that – $9.90 of it will be used for administration and maybe 10 cents will get lost when they get it across the ocean, but they won’t get it anywheres to feed those people – don’t kid yourself. But that’s not any of your business because it’s not in your scope.
Now I can sit and worry about that and not take care of 20 things that’s in front of me that I can do a little something about. Is that right, Dmitry? Let’s take care of the ones that’s in front of us. That’s our chore. Those other things in front of somebody else, let them take care of that chore. Now, I can sit and worry because I’ve been suggested to worry about it. Somebody suggested that I should feel guilty about it – it’s like, you know, when you have a good dinner and somebody says, “You’re wasting a certain amount of that, think of those starving Singhs in India.” Well, if I don’t eat it, they’re not gonna get it either – it would go in the garbage, is that right?
(That’s right.)
So what are you worryin’ about? Did you have your hand up?
(Yes I do. I was working on that a little bit about my own situation – my frustration.)
Okay.
(I think I missed something because she was saying that – you know you were saying that everybody else in the house is fast moving and, therefore, you need the one that’s idling –).
Right. [chuckles]
(Does she need to change her way of life because he wants to sit around idle?)
No.
(That’s the question.)
Her only change in life is not get frustrated by it. She knows it’s gonna happen when he comes home anyway, don’t you? Huh?
(unclear exchange between audience members) [Bob is chuckling.]
Why don’t you introduce him to somebody the next time, “Now this is so and so and this one’s this and I do the wine making and so forth, and this is our idler.” Introduce him that way a few times if you want to do something different.
(No, I thought a different way, Bob. I thought that was the balance.)
Oh, no.
(No? That’s not it at all?)
No… well, you got to keep the wheel balanced – the whole thing – you gotta have an idler in there.
(Is it because there’s not enough where I’m quiet there?)
Yeah.
(Because that’s what I understood you say. Did I not hear that?)
Well, now that’s part of it so you’re gonna have to…
(– keep him, out of necessity, if I didn’t see –)
...keep the wheels from flyin’ apart. So be thankful for him but introduce him as the idler and when you get so you can idle just a little bit, maybe you don’t need that big a flywheel.
(But he’s making it fall apart because he’s not going with the rest of the flow.)
Oh, no, he’s not makin’ anything fall apart; it’s not falling apart at all.
(I have to say one thing, Dr. Bob. If I want to work with someone, I want to take him to work with me. This kid has…there is no urgency, there is no state of anxiety at all.)
He’s not gonna get his fingers caught in the machinery, then, in other words because he’s just goin’ on and doin’ his thing, you know – but very slowly.
(If you can get him to work.)
Well, if you can get him in here.
(It all seems to be tied in to accepting “what is.”)
Well, that’s exactly right.
So we only have “what is” to deal with, not what ought to be.
Now, I can deal with “what is” all day long.
So should we be careful enough, can we say,
“I am free to experience what is – right now,” that’s all…
I’m free.
Now that way you’re truly free.
If you’re tryin’ to make it somethin’ else, you’re in a terrible frustration and an anxiety and a bondage, is that right? I’m tryin’ to make what is into somethin’ it’s not, hmm? Is that correct?
(Yeah, getting blood out of a turnip.)
Right, something like that. It’s as good as getting juice out of a turnip…just as good as blood, I think. Okay?
(Sometimes when I’m not selling all day, I’ll even think, “Well, I’m not going to make any money today.” I can have the greatest feeling in the world, and I feel great, having a great time, great time with people and everything…but sometimes things just don’t sell.)
Naturally. May I turn that around a little bit for you? You see we get too carried away with our sellin’ sometimes. People didn’t buy because maybe what you were offering ‘em was something that had no value to them whatsoever, huh? So it had nothing to do with you sellin’, it just had something to do with them buying it, isn’t that right? Now, you try to sell me a new Mack truck this afternoon and see how you make out. Bring the best salesman in the world in and try to sell me a new Mack truck this afternoon, I don’t own one.
(Some salesman can sell ice to an Eskimo, though.)
I’ve heard that – if the Eskimo needs some ice.
(I can do two ways: I can get all frustrated or –)
Or you can have fun.
(Or I can have fun!)
So let’s go to the fun – you’ll sell more that way. But you invite people to come to your place, you want to give ‘em a free gift with no qualifications whatsoever except to come get a free gift, is that right? Huh?
(Right.)
You’re gonna have a lot of people tryin’ to get the free gift that has no more interest in the product or service you have to offer than I do. And I’ll promise you as much as I love you and care for you and like you, I have no earthly use for one of those things you sell, sell me. I have no earthly use for it, so why don’t you pat me on the cheek, tell me what a good guy I am, and send me on my way as quick as possible so you can get somebody that might want it!
(Just to give an example, you know, some days you sell and sell and sell –)
Like bananas – it comes in bunches.
(It comes in bunches. So there was just yesterday I went in there and nobody was selling hardly... Well I thought I could get all frustrated or I could have fun! These people want to get out of here in 20 minutes so I told them –) (unclear) (Oh, but there’s one way to get out of this.) (unclear)
I imagine most of ‘em would rather buy in 20 minutes and go then go through all that folderol around the place, okay? Not everybody wants a rebounder, is that right?
(Oh, I’ve run into a few of those.)
That was one of them that would be me. Can you imagine me standin’ there, jumpin’ on a rebounder? Can’t get that in my head. So I wouldn’t buy it. Now Paul’s a great salesperson, but he couldn’t sell me a rebounder. And you’re a great saleslady, but you couldn’t sell me a membership – I don’t want that one, I don’t want that thing, see? So you do something. I really don’t know and John Armann is a great salesman; but I don’t need any valves so he couldn’t sell me one. (laughter) Even one of those beautiful ones. He couldn’t sell it to me. I have no earthly use for it. Okay? Okay, yes, Leland.
(You referred earlier in the morning Bob to our foibles on planet Earth as a comic book situation but also in a certain way a problem.)
People make problems out of that.
(Okay, a problem in a sense that people are harming their world and themselves by what they do without knowing what they’re doing. Now, can you offer any explanation for why the world is the way that it is. I know this is a –)
...”why” question…which I don’t indulge in.
(Which you don’t indulge in –)
I don’t indulge in “whys”
because as soon as I got the first “why” out, the next one would be, “Well why that?”
And then when I got that one done, then there would be another “why that?”
In other words all “whys” is attemptin’ to establish blame.
It’s just the way the thing runs.
(That’s just the way it is.)
That’s the way it is. And the little boy who went out in the yard and got him a big bucket of dirt and brought it in and poured it down on Mama’s carpet and got his little cars and was runnin’ up over mountains and everything and his mother comes in and says, “Ronnie, why can’t you be like other little boys?” And he looked up at her and said, “Well, I don’t know, but I guess it’s ‘cause I’m not other little boys.” So...[chuckling]
(So, we have our own answer what to do about the situation.)
“Let’s see what I can do about it,” – not “Why did it happen.” You see “why” is establishin’ blame so I can sit there and chat, chat, chat about that. “What can I do about it?” is a very worthwhile question, okay; but not, “Why did it happen?” You know, you’d get as many answers to that as you’d asked that many people. Right? Why is there starvation in Africa? You could get a lot of answers, but none of which probably fit the situation, okay? And then you could say, “Why has it been going on for as long as we have any history of it?” It’s really been doin’ that, too. Why? More answers. So what can you do about it – nothin’. Is that right? You can talk about it – if that amuses you, why talk about it – but it won’t do anything, okay? So stick around ‘til somethin’ you can see in front of you that you can do somethin’ about and it’ll give you a lot more sense of accomplishment, okay? ‘Cause there’s plenty of it right in sight, every day, okay?
Let’s take a break for about an hour and a half and let’s get back here at two o’clock. It’s now 12:30 and we’ll start again at two. Okay? I’ll be sittin’ around here somewheres so if anybody feels in the mood to ask, that has a question or talk, I’ll be here. Whatcha’ want, Marie?
[Picking up after the break:] I’m going to try to build a picture that kind of fits. And we will see if we can come up to being able to communicate accurately. We’ll draw our favorite Picture of Man. We’ll put X up here, which is Life Principle or it’s Spirit or it’s whatever word you want to use – the biological aspect of man – whatever word, that’s fine. It’s what is there as long as we say a person or something is alive and it’s what when it’s gone? We call it dead. And we don’t have too much trouble tellin’ a dead tree from a live tree or a dead person from a live person, or a dead dog from a live dog, is that right? I doubt any of us can’t figure that out – even though we don’t know what it is, we can tell when it’s not there.
The next level we put in here – the aspect of the unit called man – is Awareness. Pure and simple, that’s all. And the next one we call the Physical Body. And there is always doing something as long as it’s alive; so we call that Function out here. [Draws it on the board.]
Now, the way this kinda works a bit is that there is an impression comes into Awareness and Awareness forms a concept about it – forms an idea or a concept for every little thing that happens to it – that you, that impressions come in, right? You form a concept about it. Concept, which is both an idea and a feeling, goes to what we put up here as the Life Principle – X – Spirit or the biological aspect of man. Now, it seems to be power – is what it does most. And it also is intelligence – in that it knows what to do for the information it receives. So when it receives this information, it sends a neuro-endocrine message to the physical body and the appropriate thing for the information received is expressed in Function then.
Now, if everything worked along and all of our Awareness Function were clear and concise and didn’t have anything all rattled up in it, you probably would never wear yourself out. You might not even get AIDS, who knows – but you wouldn’t tear yourself up to say the very least. You would be in a survival mode at all times.
But as we have looked at many times, we have formed certain conclusions which we have established a frame of reference that we established when we were very little folks. The first one, we decided we knew what “ought to be” – that we talked about a little while ago. What we ought to be is to be never disturbed, right, Dmitry? I should never have any disturbance. I should have nothin’ but attention, approval and pleasure and comfort and feel important – at all times, right? If you had that, you’d just feel wonderful – had nothing but pleasure and comfort, attention and approval, and you felt very important in this world – everybody had to tip their hats when they come by and look up to you, huh? That’d be all right, huh? That be okay, Leland?
And we never did have any pain. We never had any being ignored. Nobody ignored us, nobody disapproved of us, and nobody ever made us feel inferior. We’d really be wheelin’ and dealin’, is that right? So we set up that the whole purpose of living was to be non-disturbed or to regain a non-disturbed state that we apparently had sometime or other. Possibly before we were born we weren’t very disturbed. Wasn’t too many things you were huntin’ for. Wasn’t too many things you felt denied of and you had it all – a literal garden of Eden – Mama’s womb. So you was just floatin’ around there and everything’s fine. So the whole purpose of this little decision was that to regain the non-disturbed state, then we begin to know that that’s what ought to be, huh? And the first method we used to try to gain it was complainin’. And it’s probably one of the last ones we used. (laughter) Is that right? Probably used it today a few times already, is that right? Some things didn’t go to suit you, you complain, is that right, Theresa? Huh? Don’t work, but you know…but what else you gonna do? We been usin’ it ever since I was born; and that’s been a long time ago, and we still use it.
Now the next one we tried when that one didn’t work at all, we tried sticking up for our rights. I don’t know what they are, but we’re gonna stick up for ‘em and the way we stick up for our rights is stomp our little feet and tell people off. That’s the best way we call being angry or somethin’ – we’re sticking up for our rights, is that correct? My rights is to have everything like I know it oughta be, is that your right? That’s what we stick up for, isn’t it – for everything to be like I want it to be. As a man told me one time that he run a business and he said that “I really don’t want much from my employees, just to do everything right – my way.” And, of course, that was what they needed to do, was just do it his way and it’d be all right. So we have that. And, of course, we also…we say in order to be non-disturbed we decided somewheres or other that we had to please everybody. We didn’t want to please ‘em, but we had to please ‘em. Did you ever feel you had to please people? Did you ever feel you had to please people?
(The story of my life.)
Huh?
(The story of my life.)
The story of your life tryin’ to please people; and you’ve succeeded in pleasin’ nobody – basically. When you try to please everybody, you please nobody. So why bother to please any of ‘em, you know? So…
And the next one we got was that in order to be non-disturbed, we’d better believe our authorities; but those authorities caused you a lot of disturbance, is that right?
(Uh-huh.)
You got all upset and the authority was going to tell you so you wouldn’t be disturbed – that’s what they told you, wasn’t it?
(Mm-hmm.)
If you’d just do the right thing, why everything would be fine; but you tried it and it was hard to do what they said was the right thing, right? And you were very disturbed, hmm? So that one didn’t work but we tried to believe and do.
And then we tried to improve ourselves so we could fit all of this. You ever try that one? Self-improvement kick, hmm? Everybody gets on that one once in a while. Did you get on it? If you could just improve yourself enough you could feed the starvin’ hoards, is that right? So far you haven’t got it done.
And the other one over here, we finally found that we could fix everything up if we could find what was to blame; and then if they would straighten out, everything would be all right. If he, she, they, it, this and that would all just straighten up and fly right, then I’d be a very happy individual, is that right? I’d have no problems if he, she, they, it, this, and that was all like it ought to be, everything would be fine. Wouldn’t be a problem one in the world. Now we know what to blame and that’s where we wound up.
And all of this basically becomes the frame of reference that everything that comes in here as an impression has gotta go through that little category there. Now there’s two of ‘em, so there’s gonna be in a conflict no matter how you get it. There’s one says be a goody-good-two-shoes and the other one says, be assertive – stick up for yourself. Now, we have classes in assertive training and we have classes in being good – they’re held all over the country. I know some people who go to therapists through the week that says, “You’ve got to be assertive and stick up for your rights.” And on Sunday they go another place that says, “Just be good.” Now that is really the way to stay in conflict. You just try ‘em both on, you know, and you’ll get so all week you get coached in this and on Sunday you get coached in this one. How’s that worked out? You want to tell me – anybody? Want to tell me how that works?
(It’s a mess.)
How did it work for you?
(It didn’t work.)
But this week, all week you were told to do this.
(Mm-hmm.)
Stick up for your rights, give ‘em hell if they didn’t do it right and see what was to blame; and on Sunday you went over and pleased everybody, quote your proper authorities, and improve yourself and everything would be all right, huh?
(Mm-hmm.)
Where’d it leave you?
(Hurtin’ all over again.) (laughter)
Hurtin’ from head to toes, right? So when an impulse comes in here, can you tell me what’ll happen? It’ll hit one or the other of these. So maybe this one goes through first, it goes in here. Then this Power, this Intelligence is gonna do the appropriate thing for the information it received, right? So then you do a certain set of behavior. You give ‘em hell, is that right? You stick up for your rights and tell ‘em off, huh? But then that impulse kept on goin’ and it’s still in here and this one says, “Hey, wait a minute.” So after you got that done, this one comes up and says, “Well, wait a minute – that wasn’t the way to do at all.” Now you feel guilty. Did you ever notice that you can justify somethin’ until after you get it done? And then the justification rapidly breaks down.
(Mm-hmm.)
Works just wonderful until you get it done and then it breaks down. Did you ever try that one, Darryl? Did you ever try that one? It works wonderful…until, not a dissenting idea at all until you do it – so once it gets up here and go do it. Then this one comes screamin’ in here and says, “BUT!” – that cancels all that justification, now your back with feeling guilty. Now here is the frame of reference. [Writes it on the board.] In this case, I suppose we should say references because there’s two of ‘em. So you got a conflict goin’ all the time.
Now, that is what you would call not being conscious.
You can call it bein’ asleep –
you can be controlled by subconscious or you could call it any number of things,
but it is not really being conscious.
And inasmuch as many of the things that are studied today says that the whole idea is to be conscious, huh? Really be. So this picture, then, is invalid for any conscious person because there’s only a little dab up here and it only handles mechanical things in the everyday affairs of washing dishes, driving a car, and a few things like this are. All our association with other people goes bangin’ through here and it comes up with chaos – about all the time, hmm? Nobody likes anybody else too long at a time. A little while, we like ‘em pretty good; but then pretty soon we begin to see they’re what? Now they’re to blame for this and to blame for that, and they didn’t do what I wanted to over here and so I didn’t stick up for the rights; and this over here’s such a bore tryin’ to please everybody and tryin’ to quote the proper authority and accept them and improvin’ ourselves – that’s really a bore. But anyway, different stages of society goes along.
There was at one time when I was rather young, which was a few days ago, this [“B” side”] was very prominent in the people I was around. Today this one [“A” side] is much more prominent over here. This is the plus side now. Hmm? That’s the plus side.
Now, the point is that neither the plus side nor the minus side – the other side – is any good. Neither one of ‘em will do nothin’ but cause you a lot of static. So what we will look at for a minute is that how could we possibly be conscious all the way? That this over here, so it means that we, number one, recognize this which is called self-knowing. The other one is, is to begin to consciously choose some values for yourself. What kind of value do you want? I don’t know any one of ‘em’s good or bad or right or wrong. It’s only that you choose it for yourself – that somebody didn’t just lay it on you, okay?
[END OF CD #4 OF 7)
Continued............
Half Moon Bay Part 1
Half Moon Bay Part 3
Half Moon Bay Part 4