Workshop - Newport Beach 1980- Page 5 of 8

Continuing.....

here would be angry, this one over here's fearful.  There never is a sentence - - it's just a partial one.  You have to figure what the rest of it would have been.  That's one to send to you Robin.

(Oh yeah?)

Yeah.  You know you can practice your stuff on it. 

(What stuff is that?)

Oh, Robin is a therapist over there - - Robin is a certified therapist.

(It would be a book.)

You'd better believe it.  You would get enough material to write another book.  In fact, I can bring you some mail that you probably could make a book out of - - just any two weeks mail anyway would probably be enough material to fill a book.)

(You won't have to draw a ..........)

Give it all to Robin.  Shippin' it's gonna be the problem.  Ok, next comment, question, things you want to talk about.  I'll talk about anything even though I don't know anything about it.

(All right Bob, putting the two together, looking at people and the enthusiasm and another person not disturbed like Skip, but like the woman I was describing the other day, I can be looking at her differently, seeing her good qualities, enthusiasm  I'll be getting some energy into it.)

It has an affect.  She'll at least be better off, ok?  ....at least be better off.  I don't know that she'd come all the way out of all that stuff, but she'll at least feel better; and I feel that even a temporary feeling better's pretty good.  Yes, Robin.

(I would like you to move into autism and speak about their ailments ____   )

No, they more than likely be natives - - throwbacks; but basically, if you take the autistic child and begin to treat it differently they don't stay autistic very long.  Most autistic children are overly trained.  Somebody's insisting they be super good, and they finally rebel against being too good Robin.

(I know that.)

Good, you know about that.  I have worked with a lot of autistic children and basically they can't do anything without being told how to do it.

(They essentially ____)

Well, I know but folks start on them very young in telling them what to do; and they happen to be a little free spirit that's gonna buck against it.  I learned that when I was a kid.  My dad raised 5-gaited saddle horses, ok?  We had 17 mares and about 16 of them usually had a colt every year.  Fourteen or fifteen of those colts you could domesticate to be rich-people's play toys; you know all these fancy horses.  But there was usually one or two every year that said “You're not gonna do that to me."  Now they called them outlaws and all this kind of stuff; but they were not going to be made into little toys; and so those were autistic horses; and I always had to admire them.

(They had their own purpose.)

They had their own purpose, they wasn't gonna let you add one on - - no way!  You can put the bridle on and they would rear and tear until they tore it off.  You could put a saddle on 'em and they'd buck till it came off.  And if somebody was fool enough to get on him, he took an aerial ride quick - - maybe turn 'em out in the pasture and let 'em run, they'd be horses.  They’d do what horses were designed to be, they had a ball; but they would never do the other.  So they sold them off to somebody as untrained horses.  They didn’t get very much for them; but there was usually one or two a year that would absolutely refuse to be made into a showpiece.  The others did, so those that wouldn’t conform were autistic ponies - - those were autistic 5-gaited horses, ok?  They could go out in a field and do all five gaits with nobody on ‘em just beautiful, but don’t you try to put a halter, a bridle, or anything else on him unless you want one tussle; and you hope you can get the bridle off without gettin’ torn up while you’re at it? 

(Well, what about the autistic kids - - are they in their own world - - ‘cause you can’t communicate with them.)

That’s very true. They aren’t gonna communicate with you, but I’ve never found one I couldn’t communicate with. 

(They refuse society’s purpose.)

That’s right, they buck it.  I don’t have society’s purpose, and they seem to recognize that; and I have never found an autistic child I could not communicate with.  Now the first hour I had them snarl their teeth at me and I’ve had ‘em bite me.  I’ve had ‘em really run at me and bite me, and I let ‘em bite.

(You did!)

Yeah, I let ‘em go ahead and bite - - it hurts a little bit; and it tore up some skin a time or two; but I’m all right.  But I’ve never found one I couldn’t communicate with after an hour or so.  In fact I’ve had some of ‘em turn into real little buddies that followed me everywhere; and were not autistic at all in very short order.  I think an autistic child is simply one who’s been overly domesticated; and it rebelled - - try it and see sometime.  Ok?  That’s the way I work with them and look at them as being; and I’ve never found one that in an hour or so I couldn’t begin to communicato with to some degree.  And before that they sat in the corner and snarled - - they acted like a wolf that you dragged in out of the rain and put in a room; and he’s fightin’ to get out.  That’s the way they act.

(Some were born that way, right?)

I’m assuming they all are.  That’s what everybody says, but I don’t think so.  I think they were born like all the rest of us,  very quickly go that way because they rebel against something very quickly.  But I’ve never found one I couldn’t communicate with in an hour or so - - now, not immediately - - you know, I’ve been bit by them.  I’ve been bit hard; but I never found one I couldn’t communicate with; and most of them, after working with them for a while, are very loving little folks that follow me around and bite other people.  (Laughter) 

I found them kind of useful to have around.  I had one that would bite his mother, his dad or anybody that came near - - brothers - - anybody else, but it would just follow me and cuddle and get in my lap and neck me and every other thing,  and cry when I would leave; and would talk to me; but anybody else come in and he’d bite em.  I mean literally attack - - get out of my lap and somebody come over and start to pet them because they were sittin in my lap cuddlin’ me; and a parent would say, “Oh isn’t that so nice, I’m glad she’s improving or he’s improving”; and they come close and she’d go after them and bite.  But I’ve never had one that didn’t get very friendly with me.  I guess we’re - - you know - - kindred souls or something like that; but I never had one that wouldn’t do that.

(Bob, is the acceptance of them in the beginning helping them to come out of it?)

Well, I guess that’s probably part of it, but again, it’s the way you see them; and I don’t see them as being mental cases and all this kind of stuff - - I see them as something that’s been abused a little bit. 

The last one I worked with was last summer, and I have flat had to quit going to see her.  She is grown up to this big; and it was a literal battle for me to leave the house without it going along.  It was literally a battle.  We had to slip me through the door and slam the door shut ‘cause she’d tear on the door - - she was going with me; and the parents were  trying to get her back in the house.  She’d bite ‘em; but she was the most loving little thing with me there is.  She would sit in my lap and cuddle and she didn’t want me to go, and she’d talk to me and so forth.  But when I tried to leave, it was unbearable.

(Did the relationship to the parents seem to alter?)

No, she’s still biting them.  She still bites.  No I couldn’t talk her into that; but I’m sure that if I could have had somewhere where I could take her out of the house and let her be, she’d a gotten all right entirely.  But she would be perfectly all right while I was there - - the leaving got very traumatic.  It was really a mess for me to leave.  We had to go through all sorts of subterfuge stuff; and she’d scream and yell at anybody who’d try to keep her from opening the door on the inside where her folks were - - she’d bite them pretty badly; and also kick and scratch them and all sorts of thing  - - she was like a tiger.  But she never was that way with me.  The first two times she was very skittish and she’d run from me; but when she found out that I was all right folks, why she begin to come; and she finally reach out and touch me very gently like it was frightening - - I think the first time she’d intentionally touched anyone.  She touch and pretty soon she was folloing me all over the place - - being in my lap and putting her arms around my neck and all sorts of stuff - - and she would talk to me.  And they said she never talked in her life.

(But couldn’t the parents be educated to look at her in a different way.)

I tried; but these folks very permanently know “what ought to be”; and so no matter what the child does, she’s told what she “should do” - - it’s very precise, very exact.  An ethnic group which feels that children should obey; and if they don’t obey, there must be something wrong with them, ok?  The other kids obey.

(Isn’t this a little bit the way the institutions are treating autistic children too? - - trying to reprogram them into society.)

Yeah, and pour enough medication down them so they can’t bite anymore - - you know, so they’re not interested in trying  anything else - - try Thomasine for a while, ok? 

(Well, then, they’re treating them as though they knew - - like the slapping and the punishment - - that just pushes them down more.)

It makes them more autistic.  I accept them as fine people and I’ve never had one to bite - - well, I’ve been bit the first time or two; but they always get so they don’t.  I just let ‘em bite - - if they want to bite, that’s all right.  I figure it won’t go through the skin too much.  But this little lady would be very delightful - - now she’s slightly crippled from a birth injury or something, who knows.  She’s slightly crippled - - otherwise she’s a very pretty lady.  But it’s just “ra ra ra ra ra ra ra” and makes all kinds of sounds that sound more like an animal than it does a human.  But she’ll talk to me.

(When you said soon after birth, did you mean soon after leaving the womb, or did you mean soon after conception?)

Now what did I say?

(You said you think they get overly conditioned ……)

As soon as they’re born, I think they’re overly….

(After they leave the womb?)

Yeah - -soon as they’re born, everybody tries to make them be good.  I don’t believe in people being good. 

(Isn’t’ it possible, Bob, that sometimes people start this programming before the children were born?)

It is highly possible.

(They know what the child ought to be when it arrives.)

Oh yeah, and before they arrive; and they immediately wanted this, that, and the other.  Yeah, they begin to push on them - - we were talking this morning about your purpose is removed. 

All right these people have had their purpose torn away from them; and they refuse to accept will power; and they’re still fightin’ for their purpose even though society’s taken it away.  Most people are docile enough to allow it to be taken away.  But these are like those little 5-gaited horses - - they’re not havin’ any of it.  They’re gonna keep their purpose; and if you won’t let ‘em have it, they’re gonna fight you.  They’re gonna bite you; and certainly I let ‘em have their purpose.  I want ‘em to be as non-disturbed as possible and I agree with it; and they’ll come sit in my lap and cuddle me in two or three days/  They have to check you out to see if you’re trustworthy - - they think you’re phony at first.  They check you out for a little while, but when they see that you’re  not gonna try to make ‘em over, I never had one who didn’t become very affectionate to me.

(Did it seem to you that they were hypnotized?)

I don’t think so.  I don’t think anybody could hypnotize one of them because he’s not gonna cooperate with you that long.  He’s not gonna cooperate with you at all; and you have to have cooperation to hypnotize a person.  So I don’t think it’s ever used.  They use hypnotic drugs to get to them; but mostly the accepted forms of treatment you would say Robin are considered to be non-effective - - is that pretty close to right?

(Um hum.)

And for medication they give them a stimulant even though they’re hyperactive - - they give ‘em riddlin’ which is hyperactive; and then in order to not have the severe side affects of riddlin’, a lot of them are giving them very strong coffee - - strong black coffee - - and that actually calms them down a little bit - - believe it or not - - they’re less hyperactive than they are without it .   

(Bob, children who hold their breath or bang their heads, is that another form of ____)

Oh yeah, just total frustration.  Did you ever feel like running through the wall when you was totally frustrated?  When a kid is totally frustrated, he’ll either hold his breath or bang his head on the floor, ok?  And so I don’t see any reason to have them so totally frustrated, you see.  They want to do what they want to do and somebody else is showing them one thing - - they’re bigger than the kid is.  That’s about the only ting parents ever prove to their kids is “I’m bigger than you are.”

(But would this be a free spirit.)

Well, I don’t know.  At least they’re trying to do something - - they want to do something and somebody’s sittin’ on ‘em hard trying to condition them.  Ok?

Ok, dear people we started a little late, but we run over.  So we will start in the morning at 10:00 - - we’ll talk about what you want to talk about. 

[Next morning]

Ok, now we said that from now on we're talking about what you want to talk about any questions you want to ask, anything you want to find out, anything you think you could use or things that I might do that you want to know about why let's fire away with it this morning.

(I just happened to have…..)

Good, I figured you might have one Charles.

(I've heard that until you change your purpose, you can't experience faith, grace and agape ...)

I would say that is somewheres correct; and I would possibly rephrase that a bit to say until you change your purpose and  also take charge of it.  I believe I would state it under that term at this particular moment.  Until a person takes charge of their purpose, the old purpose that was not taken charge of will be operating; and there will be blaming which is not agape.  There will be complaining which is not much of anything; and there will be feelings of urgency to please people and to do as you're told by old conditioning way back down the line.  So I will slightly rephrase it and say "until one takes charge of their purpose" which definitely would be that there would be a change in the purpose in some form or another - - at least in the means of achieving it.  I think that would be absolutely correct to the best of my knowledge and understanding AND practice.

(So there are steps, the first step is to take charge of ..........)

.......of one’s own inner state.  Now the first thing in doing anything is to take charge of it.  I've had people with heavy tremors.  Now if you can get them to take charge of the tremor - - now everybody’s been trying to stop the tremor we'll say.  It has all kinds of names - - Huntington Coree and many many others.  Now if they will take charge of it and deliberately start to shake it - - you see, the tremor's this way are involuntary; but if they'll get it up here and do it this way even though it'll throw cups around and forks and spoons and so forth - - they're taking charge of it. 

Now the same with worry.  So a person's worried.  Now it's useless to tell a person to quit worrying because the most they will do, then, is worry because they're worrying so much - - and that is a literal fact that they start worrying more. 

So if a person would deliberately begin to worry, ok?  You take the idea that you're going to worry more, and you build on that worry - - really work on them; and now you're doing this consciously.  That way you're taking charge of it.  Now you have to take charge “where it is”, not somewheres else - - now where you think you want it to be. 

Now people have a great heavy idea in their head of the “opposites”.  So if I'm worried I shouldn't worry.  If I'm angry, I shouldn't be angry.  If I should find myself angry, which thank goodness I haven't been in a long time; but if I should,  I would immediately try to take charge of it and be super angry for a little bit.  I’d get off by myself, shut the door to the bathroom and beat the tub with a towel or use four letter words - - whatever creative effort I could make, but I would want to take charge. 

Now if I have a pain, I will usually try to make it hurt a little worse for a bit.  I'm taking charge of it.  I know something to do to aggravate it a little bit, ok? 

So the moment you take charge, you can begin to do something; but until you take charge, there is no way that you can accomplish anything. 

Now if I found myself very anxious, I would immediately try to be more anxious.  I would make it super important whatever it was I was anxious about.  So you take charge where you are, not someplace else.  Now the average individual as we have been trained all our lives, tries to do something they consider to be opposite; and that is not taking charge, that is only increasing the conflict because only until you are “taking charge of what is present” can you begin to do anything with it. 

Now if I felt I overeat, I would get myself a whole bunch of groceries and begin to overeat deliberately.  Now I'm in charge of the overeating - - now I can put it anywhere's I want to. 

People want to stop something; and they begin to fight it and that fighting is the last thing that will ever work.  It only builds up more anxiety and more stresses and pressures on it.  So if you want to lose weight, I think the first thing I'd do is see if I couldn't fatten up two pounds.  And strange as it may seem, you'd probably have a very hard time doing it; but let’s see you work at it.

You see, you watch all the time that people try to do the opposite.  Now there is no such things as opposites, there's only “degrees of things”; and the appropriate way to go at it is to take charge of what the present situation is and do that even though you may continue it a while - - exaggerated or whatever. 

If I'm gonna worry, I'm gonna worry - - worry deliberately, consciously.  If I'm gonna be sick, I think I will just deliberately be sick for a few minutes.  I'm takin' charge of it.  So as you take charge of things, then you can begin to do anything you want to.  The way that we have been conditioned is that we are “victims of circumstance” and “playthings of nature”. 

So if I feel lonely, well then there's nothing I can do but feel lonely until something from outside comes and relieves it.  But I can go ahead and feel extremely lonely.  I'm going to take charge of that bit, ok? 

And you can go through anything that the human experiences - - you take charge of what you're experiencing at the moment.  Take it away from happenstance and begin to do it deliberately; and that is including purpose and everything else. 

Yesterday I think, we used the idea that my purpose could be “being nondisturbed”.  Now I have found to give this to a number of people; and very quickly as they were  deliberately trying to be nondisturbed, it changed.  Now I could talk about changing your purpose until my teeth chatters; and it wouldn't do any good.  But if I start them on that one only using a different method, pretty soon they see there's something far more valuable than being nondisturbed because non-disturbance is a by-product and is unnecessary to work toward in the first place. 

And so the method that we talked about usually becomes the purpose very quickly where if we would have said to change the purpose, then no change ever takes place, it procrastinates and procrastinates and procrastinates some more - - procrastination is a fact of life; and it is an interesting experiment to do it deliberately.

Now let's take procrastination.  I think most everybody here is capable of practicing it a little bit, unintentionally, is that right Debbie?

(For sure.)

Now let's suppose that we deliberately begin to procrastinate.  Now I'm gonna procrastinate writing the rent check.  I'm gonna procrastinate sending the electric bill in.  I'll just do it tomorrow, not today, and I'm gonna deliberately do this.  You'll find you don't have any fun in procrastinating anymore - - but first you take charge and deliberately put it off, ok? 

(Ok.)

Just deliberately do it.  Now that is the only approach.  I know people that have been fightin' procrastination for 40 years; and they're still procrastinating all over the place; but if you deliberately begin to procrastinate, you'll find you can't do it very long. 

(You start getting anxious and you want to start doing the thing you've been procrastinating against?)

Yeah, you get over your procrastination and go the other way.  You see, the human body is rather peculiar.  For one thing a lot of people watch over it all the time; and if you spy on any self-respecting body or mind, it refuses to operate adequatly while you're spying upon it.  It just flat refuses. 

(Bob, there’s also all these things we're trying not to do, we feel that we have to do, we have to .....)

Yes, we've already got a conflict going over thinking we “have to do it”, and wanting not to.

(Yeh, so if we.........)

................deliberately go ahead and not do them.  You're free to not do them; and if you not do them freely a few minutes, then you have no fascination about it; so you can do them or not do them, what's the difference.

(If you make it important “to do them”, it seems that  suddenly “you don't want to”.)

Right, and so you're not tryin' to fight either side; but the whole bit, see, is that  X says "I'm runnin' the body; and I’m runnin' its behavior according to what you told me.”  Now you tell me one thing and then you tell me to behave another and so X says, "Go hang it up."  X can’t do both.

(So part of self-knowing is taking charge, you can’t do anything until you do that.)

At least you can take charge of what's going on at the present; with no effort to go around and change things into something else.  Now you're not gonna reverse anything.  Life flows in a straight line.  It may go this way and that way, but it heads in the same direction all the time; and you're not gonna change it until you do take charge; and we have a perfect partner in X who will take care of all “how's” if I will merely decide “what” singly; but the unfortunate thing is  that most everybody has “two what's” at least; and then they're trying to figure out the ‘how” and X says, "Well, if you are so darn smart, let's see you do it."  And that's when you tangle up; but if you can take charge of any situation that does exist at the moment - - that, you see, you can do in that moment.  Then, without any effort, you’ll find your purpose can be changed very quickly; but with just trying to change a purpose without taking charge of the present situation, you'll find that it's practically if not totally impossible; and I don't want to do the impossible - - I don't even want to work at it.

(You said, once you take charge, you then find you can change your purpose.)

You can change your purpose, but without it, you simply cannot.  You can try and that's all.  You can struggle with it and only build a conflict, honey.  It just doesn't change until  you do take charge of the present moment. 

In other words, say that I wanted to go to sleep.  I have insomnia.  So I decided that I was gonna try to get to sleep.  I've had four calls on that subject already this morning that people stayed awake most of the night last night.  It's a very common subject I get.  One was crying and having a hysterical fit that she could only sleep 2 1/2 hours last night.  Now she told me over and over she had tried so hard to get to sleep for the rest of the night. 

Now if I should wake up in the night which I do frequently - - having a lousy conscience or whatever it is - - I wake up frequently.  So then I decide to stay awake and listen to night sounds.  There's little birds singing off over here and a siren running off over there and something clicks and groans here, and water runs somewheres - - so you stay awake and listen to night sounds.  Pretty soon you wake up and it's morning. 

(So that’s saying your first purpose was to go to sleep and..............)

No, I didn't have the first purpose.  I just laid down and let nature take its course.  Everybody has the idea to get to sleep - - They keep saying to themselves, "I got to get back to sleep."  "I got to get to sleep."  Then they complain, “I close my little eyeballs, and they keep poppin' open.” 

The point is; if I'm awake, I'm gonna take charge of it and deliberately be awake and do something.  I'm gonna listen to night sounds and see what I can see around in the dark and so forth.  You know, see what's goin on - - I might see something very lovely and keep looking; but I'm gonna stay awake.  And all of a sudden you wake up and it's morning.  You don't know how you got to sleep again.  Now none of us know how to go to sleep - - I don't believe - - is that right? 

(That's right.  I don't know how.)

But did you ever try to get to sleep in the night.  You spend hours at it, right?

(Yes.)

Next time you're awake in the night, make it your purpose that you “deliberately take charge of being awake” and use it for listening or looking or doing something, and all of a sudden you find its morning. 

(Ok.)

(Would it be more accurate to say that when you take charge, you soon change your purpose; or would it be more accurate to say when you take charge, soon your purpose is changed?)

I believe the first one would be accurate.

(You change........)

You change it a little bit because you start seeing the joke in the one you've been workin' on.  In other words, if you ever saw the joke in trying to get to sleep when you don't know how to sleep anyway - - you haven't the foggiest idea - - all the greatest scientists in the world have been studying sleep for years.  They tape people up and everything.  They don't know anything about it - - they still don't know what's going on.  They don't even know why you will require sleep.  Nobody even knows why you're supposed to require sleep.  So you don't know how to do it, so why should you try to do something you haven't the foggiest idea how to do in the first place, huh? 

(And that applies to practically everything?)

It applies to everything because you don't know how to do anything. 

(I was writing something and I heard you say something about by-product and the non-disturbed ....)

Being non-disturbed is a by-product, not a purpose.  It's not something you do by intention because the more you try to be non-disturbed intentionally, usually the more disturbed you get.  You should look back over the last 27 1/2 years of your life which is since you were born; and I think you would find that that was the case.  You've been unknowingly trying to be non-disturbed all those years and most the time you were either disturbed or distracted - - one of the other.

(Right.)

That's correct?  Ok.  So it would appear that maybe we could see that that was a joke, and we wouldn't be run by that anymore; but I think the way to discover the joke is to deliberately, intentionally go out and do your very best to be non-disturbed.

(I feel I'm doing that.)

Ok, how's it working?

(Well, I thought I was going out to be ..... I mean in the things that I do, I think that I'm trying to be non-disturbed.)

Well, good, keep 'em up.

(And I'm being disturbed.)

Right.  So maybe you'll catch on one day - - keep on trying to be non-disturbed.  Really work at it.

(I can’t go out and really try to be disturbed.)

Oh, I'm not gonna do that, I'm going to try to be non-disturbed.  I'm certainly not goin' out and start hittin' myself with a hammer or banging my toes or anything like that - - you know - - I'm not gonna do that. 

(I thought you said do the opposite, are you being smart?)

No I didn't say do the opposite; I said deliberately take charge - - NOT to try the opposite.

(Oh.)

Ok, that's good.

(So if somebody was anxious, then to try to be anxious.)

Yeah, I would deliberately take charge of it.

(Would you take charge of it and try to be as anxious as you can?)

Possibly, but if you also have that your purpose is to be non-disturbed and you set out to do something like try to be non-disturbed, it'll make you anxious; so take charge of it, ok?  Now wait a minute.  Slow down dear. 

Basically everybody in the world started out as an infant trying to be non-disturbed.  They didn't know that's what they're doing, ok?  So when once you do see that's what your doing, it's just like anxiety or anything else, you take charge of it by deliberately doing it for a little while, ok?  And when you try to do it, you see the joke in having that as a purpose because really non-disturbance is a by-product not something we work for; but as long as a person finds themselves working for it, for goodness sakes go ahead and take charge of it. 

It's like anything else.  You can only start on anything by taking charge of it where it is, not trying to make the opposite out of it.

(Right, now I think I got'cha.)

Ok, now we got it.  Ok, next point - - anybody here?

(If I recall, you said until you take charge of your purpose you can't ..........)

....begin to do anything else like, for instance, agape, right?

(Is the rest of it an experiencing or is there a “doing” involved.)

I would say there is some of both - - faith is the ability to make up the mind.  So I would say that every once in a while, somebody makes up their mind.  First thing you do is start making up your mind to take charge, ok? 

Grace is to recognize we have all kinds of undeserved goods.  In other words, I didn't do anything to be here at the party.  That was pure unadulterated gifty, ok?  So is reasonably good health and about every other thing we have.  There are people around and there are things to do; and if you just think of all the things that were here when we were born, we have to say we have a lot of things we didn't earn.  In fact I about got to the point we don't earn anything, we just all make little contributions to things operating. 

I tried to figure out one time that if one loaf of bread were made just for one of us through the commercial channels that the thing would cost billions of dollars.  So none of us can buy a loaf of bread - - we all contribute a little bit to the farmer.  We all contribute a little bit to the transportation.  We contribute a little bit to the miller.  We contribute a little bit to the baker.  We contribute to the yeast grower.  So we  contribute a little bit and we can go over and buy a loaf of bread for less than a dollar even with inflation.  So I would say that we don't ever earn anything - - that about everything I have I consider is undeserved goods or grace that is just simply laid on me. 

Now agape is that I can begin to see after I take charge that without having been given a little bit of information somewheres along the way to give me some guidelines as to the way to look at things, that I would feel there was an awful lot of bad people in the world or a lot of uncouth people - - a lot of people who didn't care - - a lot of people were trying to put me down, a thousand and one things.  But as I look at it through another light, I see that everybody is doing what they feel is right, proper or justifiable at that moment with what light they have.  And I begin to see that in no uncertain terms; and that IS an experiencing, yes. 

It is also acted upon in the way that one lives.  In other words, one ceases to be fault finding, picky, pushy, judging, wanting to go to war, lawsuits all these things - - you just say  - -Ahhh, so what?  They're doin' what they feel is right or proper or justified; and that's the only thing I have to go by with what light I have.  I'm doing what seems to me to be right, or proper or justifiable at the moment and I try not to do anything that I need to justify.  I found that that breaks down after while; and I have to start all over again, so why bother with that. 

But I do know that most people can justify.  I know I used to do a good job of it; and so now I try not to use those because I see where they lead to. 

And faith is recognizing that whatever I make up my mind to, X does - - if I make up my mind singly.  Now if I'm a "yes but” - - I want to do all this, BUT - - then nothin' happens.  But if I truly make up my mind that this is the way something’s going to be…..  Now I think I use it every day, so it is a using as well as an experiencing.  Definitely it is an experiencing; I suppose of what most people would call a sense of security.  I have a partner that is 100% dependable 100% of the time anytime that I say “this is what”--singly, it always happens.  But I don't care what distance it is from here or anything else.  So that is both - - doing and experiencing.

Grace I don't know that I do anything on that - - there's an action - - but I have certainly a very decided sense of being very thankful for all these undeserved goods; and I believe maybe being thankful is truly a action of one sort or another; and agape is a way of seeing. 

In other words it is seeing more clearly about all human beings.  So obviously you act upon the way you see.  So I think our statement early in the week that you use it or lose it is probably correct. 

Now I think these come into being as an experiencing from something we're doing.  In another direction we took charge of something here, there, and elsewhere.  This is the outcome and when that happens, I think we find that there is both and experiencing which is more or less continuous; and I think you would say that as you experience all of these - - this - - the utter sense of security that I know I can do this, the recognizing the tremendous gifts that's been given us; and how I see the rest of the world, I think the outcome would be that you would be experiencing something called joy or happiness just about all the time.  I think it is a continual experiencing, but it certainly has some activity or shall we say at the very least that it certainly influences one's actions.  I don't see how it can be there and not be influenced.  Do you have any of those?  Do you feel that it influences your action any?

(Yes.)

Very definitely, huh?  Bill does that seem reasonable.

(Right on.)

I think you'd come up with this as a by-product.  I wouldn't go around thinking well I'm experiencing faith or I'm experiencing grace or........

(It's a chain reaction to this activity.....)

..........goes back here then gets this, so pretty soon it is a cycle of being - - it's like a cycle of being.  So I think that if you were to say, what are you experiencing, I would say this.  I say it, very definitely, influences my activity or behavior - - and very decidedly.  In fact I'm very aware that it does; and I think it does anybody and everybody.  But the thing is that this probably is what the person would say they were experiencing.  If I walked up and said, what are you experiencing, I believe that's what you'd come up with, is that right?

And this comes through here and you wouldn't be thinking all the time - - am I doing this - - but I think you'd be very aware you're experiencing these states of being - - utter joy, happiness or whathaveyou.  You could name it any number of different synonyms; but I think they'd all come out right.  And certainly everything in the person's being begins to function different.  The body will function different, the mind functions differently.  The experiencing functions different - - the way you're seeing is different and everything.  So having worked with lots of people that had all kinds of frustrations and aggravations and annoyances and worries and anxiety and after some time when they got to lookin' at things, they experienced these states about 99.9% of the time - - you're agreeing with that, huh?  OK?  Agree with that brother Bill?

(Oh yeah.)

That about right? Ok.  Ok, so things that are an experiencing usually influences very decidedly one's actions or behavior and then it is really yours.  Then you no longer require reading things, listening to tapes, talking about things, it's just there, that's all.  It's you.  Now I think this is what is meant when it says that a person undergoes transformation.  I think the outcome of having a purpose and a will that's in union or in harmony or working together is transformation of the human being.  They've transformed how they feel, how they act, how they look and everything else.  I think it all works as a transforming - - that is the transforming direction.  So I know of people that have been very sad and aggravated or annoyed or frustrated or whatever word you want; and the body looks a certain way; and it behaves a certain way; and it has all kinds of nice little symptoms that goes with that kind of thing.  Then when they have chosen a purpose and will in harmony where they're in this kind of state, all those things disappear, and  they do look entirely different. 

I have had a few occasions when a person came in one day and was back the next day and I did not know them; and I have a disgustingly good memory for faces - - terrible for names, but I got faces down perfect.  But they came in the next day and I would not have known them if they weren't with somebody that I knew that they should be with so I could hook them together.  And there's been a few cases where I thought the person had brought somebody else with 'em.  The person’s experiencing and what went with it then had totally transformed the body.  It didn't even remotely look like the one that was in yesterday.  And by the same token I've seen it go the other way.  In a few cases of people that I knew and they looked pretty wonderful and then heard of some event, and they were total wrecks the next morning.  I've seen that happen. 

In fact I saw one man that had dark hair one day and was totally white the next morning.  But thank goodness that doesn't happen very often.  So transformation is the outcome of experiencing this; but if you experience it, it is going to be acted upon and there's very little doubt, I think, that it's always acted upon.  Does that help any to solve that one, ok?  Proceed on.  Melba? 

(In this transformation, is it a moment by moment thing or is it permanent?)

Well, I would say that it has a high degree of probability of being permanent unless it was produced by outside forces.  Now sometimes you could produce such good news for somebody and for a little bit they would be full of joy, is that right?  But as soon as they get used to the news, why it's no longer that way; but I'd say that if you did it by your own efforts of taking charge first, then having that new purpose that it would be permanent.  I cannot conceive of me changing my purpose - - I'm enjoying it too much like it is.  I've had people try to sell me on a lot of other purposes, but I'm hard to sell.  I'm a tough prospect.

(Neal and I were just discussing something in the park that we’d like to throw out.)

Lay it on us.  That's what this is about, everybody talk about whatever can be useful.

(So we got to talking about this this morning.  When you act in exactly the opposite direction to what the thinking process tells you....)

You mean what the not i's lay on you?

(What the not i's tell you, right.  It produces a state of fear or pain.  The mind says, "Oh my God"......)

Ok, one of the other heads says....

(It says, if I act enthusiastic, there's the idea that there’s going to be pain, maybe disapproval; so we'd rather have the misery than put forth the effort  ....)

How do you spell threat? So we had a little drawing here yesterday of a three-headed person, ok?  This is his spinal cord - - it looks like this - - that's his spinal cord, ok?  It runs down like that.  So here is a head - - that one’s asleep.  And this one over here is laying his “bit” out.  Now this head said, “You should go to work. - - this is B over here.  He’s the "should cat", you know.  And somebody came along an offered the suggestion that A got onto that says “Goof off tomorrow.” - - play around with the folks, ok?  Now the chooser said, “Well give that one the nod - - so it’ll do it.”  Ok, here comes the fear and the threat of pain - - this head here begins to threaten which, I think, is a better word than fear.  It begins to threaten you with all kinds of impending doom because it says, “You really goofed off, you gave that durn kid over there the nod and you’re gonna go off and play around and goof off.”   So that’s where the threatening feeling comes Bill.

(Um hum.)

So it’s threat, so it says you’re gonna get yourself really in trouble and it threatens you and gets you fearful of impending doom; and after you’re threatened, you fear.  Somebody comes along and threatens you and says, “I’m gonna beat you up tonight at 6:00 pm.” - - you’re gonna have a certain fear of the impending doom that’s coming up on you; and that’s where the feeling comes from, see?

Now the minute you go against this one, this one will make you feel threatened.  Now if this one was given the nod and says “Well, get on the ball and go to work.”  This one would come up and make you feel sorry for yourself - - that’s his act.  It says that all you ever get to do is work - - other people can take off and go sailing in the afternoon.  Other people can take off and go down and sit and talk all day and philosophy and whathaveyou, but “I don’t ever get to do anything I want to do, I just gotta keep my nose to the grindstone to keep this thing barely going”.  So this one will give you self-pity.  And this one over here threatens. 

Now that’s the way the three heads work and practically everybody in the world has those three heads going.  Now what we’re talking about is when you have a single purpose - - you have really come up with a purpose of your own, then this head sloughs off and this head sloughs off. 

Now there is one person - - a union of purpose and will - - just one and that’s this head.  Now as long as there is not a consciously known, chosen purpose - - there’s gonna be three heads in there.  You remember reading books that talks about three-brained creatures. 

Now it’s perfectly easy to fluff off those two because they’re not real brains - - they’re kind of warts.  (Laughter)  They’re brain warts; and I have found that I can give a nickel for a wart and it’ll go away.  I can go pay a kid a nickel a piece for his warts and they’re all gone in a few days.  And I’ll be happy to give everybody a dollar apiece for they’re warty brains; and so you get two bucks apiece; and I will buy them if you will not think so much of ‘em that you go raise more warts.  But this is just a wart on there - - really!  And we’ve been lettin’ the warts run the whole show.   (Laughter)

That’s right.  Now I think that this is very valuable to look at.  The three-brained or three-headed being which is a freak, huh? 

(Yes.)

But this one will threaten if you give the other head the nod.  Poor “I”  sits in here - - the chooser - - now all he really gets to choose is which one of these hypnists he’s going with or these powerful salesmen out here that manipulate him, ok? 

So this head says, “I’d like to go to Newport Beach today.”  And this head says, “You better stay at home and take care of work ‘cause you’re in a tough spot anyways, and if you go off fluffin around…”  So then comes along an ally and says,  “Come on let’s goof off today.”  So that’s all it takes - - a little extra ally comes out here and says do it this way.  So now here’s another head up here that said, “Well, let’s go do it that way.”  So we decide to do it that way.  And this one takes off threatening every horror under the sun.  So it says you will have all this misery and trouble and the business will go down the tube and people will steal from you - - no tellin’ what all will happen. 

So you get fear of the impending doom.  Now that’s the way it works.  It’s relatively, extremely simple.  But we don’t recognize these two heads as not being me.  We think they’re really me.   But I am not them.  That is those appendage heads that come on there, and they’ll go away very easily if you have a single purpose. 

When purpose and will are in union, those heads are not there.  Now at certain times through the day, every day they’re not there - - they’re not functioning.  You decide to go get a glass of water - - now that a single purpose unless you’ve read all the things like the water is full of carcinogins and so you better leave that off.  You decide to make a phone call.  If it’s a long distance call, why this head will say.  “We’ll make a call.”  This one says, “You better watch it, the bill’s running pretty high already this month.”  Huh?  Or you go get something to eat and so you go look in the meat market and you see a pretty steak and you’d like to have it, but it’s $3.89 a pound or some such thing; and over here is chicken at $1.39 a pound or some such a matter; and so you want steak and this one says, “I want steak.”  This other head says, “You better take the chicken, it’s cheaper, you’re runnin’ short of money anyway.”  And if you decide to hell with it, I’m gonna really have my steak tonight anyway, this one begins to tell you all sorts of things; and you’ll have a bit of conflict.  It begins to threaten you.  Now they do this over the simplest minutest things as well as the big ones. 

As far as they’re concerned, there’s no big and little things, no more valuable or less valuable - - there’s a constant competition between these two sides.  They live in the same house, but they’re constantly competing; and I believe I read in a book somewheres that says a house divided against itself is bound to fall.  And I think that’s why you see so many falling people around.  And I’m not talkin’ about just fallin down on their knee and skinnin’ it - - they end the show  because it is a house divided against itself.

Now as far as I’m concerned, all the work that I do - - and I do put in a few hours everyday as any of you knows, I’m usually on the job a number of hours; and I work at night and many other times - - my job is to cease houses being divided against themselves. 

If I work with you on any level about anything that’s related to the teaching work, my sole effort is to end the house being divided against itself because as long as that house is divided against itself, it is deteriorating, falling, coming unglued - - disintegration is taking place and you can call that by any name you want to; and as soon as the disintegration is ended, integration is. 

One person that I know very well, told me that you never work at being integrated, you end disintegration.  When you do that, the only thing left is integration.  So you don’t have to work at that.  All you got to do is get rid of the two warts.  You don’t have to do a thing to this one, it’s already one - - it has one purpose and one will.

(Bob, I think you said you really don’t get rid of the warts, you just don’t value it.)

That’s the first way of starting on them, but I think you eliminate the warts when you have made a purpose, they are totally inactivated.  In other words, it’s like I reach down here and we’ll say there’s three tape recorders plugged into that one thing and I push two of them off.  If they’re there, so what - - they’re not doing anything. 

So there’s no way you can get rid of ‘em; but you can ignore them.  Now I find people trying to make these heads [thoughts] go away; or they try to reason with them; or they try to make peace with them and all kinds of weird stuff which those heads like to catch you in that trip.  Forget it, ignore them, and form your own purpose and will.  If you do have a purpose and a will - - even if they’re they’re, you’ll never hear from them.  They completely atrophy.  And anything that’s completely atrophied is not going to cause you any difficulty.

(Take the example of the chicken or the steak.  The integrated person is still going to decide what he’s going to eat.  So does he actually simply say, “I see what B is saying?) 

Well, no, both of ‘em’s gone.  He just walks in the store and says, “I’m gonna have filet mignon tonight.”

(They’re still there in my example. So he says I hear B and
I hear A and I know it doesn’t make any difference and I can do anything I want, so I think I’ll go with A today.)

No, that just activating the stupid thing again.  It says, I’m gonna do it and to hell with those guys.

(But that’s the only advice he’s getting?)

Well, he doesn’t need any advice.  I’ll do it on my own.  I’ll be responsible.  So I spent my money for filets, so what?  Now as long as I say, “Well, I’m goin’ with A.”  A says, “I got him.”  And this B one will still holler at him for having done it - - even though he says, I know what A said and I know what B said. 

I’m talkin’ about putting absolutely no value on what they’re saying; and I’m going to choose on my state which one I’m gonna have.  In other words. I’m gonna stand back and look at the counter and see which one that X seems to say “Well steak fits in the tummy tonight.”  You know it tells you what you’re hungry for.  Why listen to those guys tell you about concern with price or anything else you’ve heard about the “right” foods to eat and the ones to avoid.  I want to hear what X - - the real being - -  says that would fit best tonight.    That’s the only way I know what to eat is what sounds good for tonight. 

(That is not thinking of the intellectual.)

No I’m not doing it intellectually.  I’m lettin’ X tell me what it wants for the body today, ok?  Intellect would be going by education.  This is the intellect.  This head’s gotta have and this head’s gotta have and they’re gonna use logic and reason to sell this one on doin’ it. So the awareness listens to X and asks, what am I gonna eat tonight regardless of price or anything else, “What am I gonna eat tonight?”  And X will usually tell me that it would require or could use a little of this or a little of that or a little of the other.  It'll even tell me how to cook it.

(Really?)

Yeah  

(It sounds like your saying “if” and asking X what?)

No, not asking what, I'm listening to see what it would like - - it's a very dear friend of mine; and I would like to know what it would like for the body.  It runs the body and it's the only one that knows what nourishment it needs, so I'm not going by taste alone,  Usually before I would go to the store, it's already said what it would like tonight unless I'm not hungry at all.  I don't like to go to the grocery store when I'm not hungry. 

(It doesn’t work very well?)

It just don't work very well.  I want to be hungry when I go to the store and then it says, "Get that, get that, get that."  "That's what I can use."  So it's not saying "What", its saying what would be useful to the body and that’s its chore.  Now I'm not going to ask it what about whether I go to this store or that store or the other; now I'll decide that; but I do let it say what it would like to eat - - cause it tells me much better.  And I've learned by long years of experience that it's much better to let X say what I should eat rather than some suggestion from anything else.  If I'm hungry, I know what I want.

(Is there sometimes it puts strange combinations together?)

Yeah, I was hungry last evening when we finished in here.  I knew exactly what I wanted - - it was already telling me all about it.  It was very simple, but I got it; and it settled in very very nicely - - took care of the whole show. 

(What about when you're responsible for it - - deciding what other people are going to eat.  I mean you know what you want; and then you go buy what you want and maybe it's not what the rest of the family wants.)

Well, cook them something different. 

(They don’t tell you.)

Well, if they don't tell you, feed them anything.

(Well - -that’s what it’s been.)

When they tell you, why you can get something else.  There's nothing wrong with cookin' two different things for dinner, is there?

(No.)

Having run restaurants for years why I don't care if there's 18 different items as long as it's on the menu.  Comes out just as easy to cook for one as it does for 100 or a hundred as it is for one.

(This really applies just to one's own self.)

Well, I'm talking about self yeah, I'm not talkin' about what you're gonna solve - - all these things - - you could make problems out of it. 

This one says, "But what about the old man."  And this one says, "Well what if the daughter comes home."  “What if she  doesn't want to eat split pea soup today?”  Ok?  Next comment, question, point we're gonna cover.

Now I think that the only thing really worthwhile is when we become - - instead of a three-brained creature - - we'd become one.  Now as soon as I recognize these are not I’s, I've become “single brained” believe it or not. 

Now when Neal was in conflict on what to do, he was deciding on whether he would work today.  He didn't know that there was not I’s talking to him.  Now that's when you're three brained.  B said “You better go to work”. At the same time, A came up and said, "It'll be all right to take off."  And A had an ally, Rasputin got in there and said, "Well, let's goof off - - it'll be all right today."  Then this B began to holler of the impending doom; and he felt that all that chatter was himself. 

Now the minute I recognized not i for what a not i is; and this one is a not i for what it is; and that it is not i, at least at that moment, you're single brained - - even though those other two not I’s are out there hollering at you from the sidelines, yes sir? 

(Let’s say that you decided to do something; and then somebody calls you up and says, “I want to go to the beach....)

Uh huh.

(Now does the integrated person have to consider it, or do they know exactly what........)

I know exactly what I'm gonna do.

(Work?)

I'm goin' to work, beause I've already made a commitment  regardless of the other people callin' up and asking me to go to the beach.  Say that I was just sitting around and it didn't matter one way or the other.  I would probably respond instantaneously, "Let's go to the beach."  But if I'd already said I was gonna do something, I would take care of whatever the commitment was.

(I was just wondering the process of ….)

So there is a point in the existence, dear, that there is no decisions to make - - no choices to make - - it's always a choiceless bit.  You're aware of it and you do it.  So the agony of choice can end; and when it ends, why one lives rather freely.  So the by-product of being single minded is the end of this choice making.  It's choiceless awareness.  There it is. and you just do it. 

Now if I had a made four appointments here, and somebody said, "Let's go to the beach,"  No not till I get the appointments done - - till I've taken care of what I've said I was gonna do.  I consider that being considerate.  Certainly I may like the beach, but - - let's just say I would take care of those things I said I was gonna do, and it wouldn't inconvenience anybody.  Then when it's me, I'm not inconveniencing anybody or anything, fine, let's go to the beach, ok?

(There’s a wee gap just developed in there between taking charge and being choiceless which I would like to cover a little more.)

I can't see how there's a gap.  I don't see it.  To me it is non-existent gap so I don't know how I could close a gap that I can't see.

(Well, you've been telling us about we gotta "take charge".)

I never told you you “had to do anything”.

(You told us that when you can....)

I never tell anybody they “have to do anything” - - must do it - - ought to do it - - or should do it.  No, I said that that's the only way a person can really function is to take charge, right? Ok. 

(Just a few seconds ago, you said the end results of that is ....)

I said that the end result is another word for freedom, it’s choiceless; and choiceless is because you're seeing clearly enough when you're single minded.  You see clearly enough that there is no choice - - it really isn't a choice, I have experimented .......

(..........on being in charge of our choices....)

No you're in charge of you, your inner state and not letting these things be in charge.  This is what makes choices necessary - - that right Neal?  It's what you had to do this morning.  These two made choices necessary.

(That’s part of it.)

When they are not there, you look at something, you see what you're gonna do.  I truthfully don't fiddle around with choices.  I look at something and its clear enough to see that's what I'm gonna do.  It's just like they said, suppose somebody calls you up and says, "Let's go to the beach."  Well, there's no choice, I've already committed myself.  I see that clearly and and that's it, say, “Sorry, can’t go.” 

(Choicelessness occurs when the valuing is done.)

Right.  And when the valuing is done, you've already made your purpose and your will is going with it, and you see clearly.  You see as long as you look this way, you're seeing with one head and then you're seeing with another head.  You see with one head, and then see with the other head; and then you have come to the agony of choice. 

If you give this one the choice, this one will make you feel sorry for yourself.  If you give this one the nod, this one will make you feel guilty in some sort of way or threaten you with impending doom which is what I think guilt is anyway. 

So then there's the constant choice.  If these are wiped off,  I have one purpose and a will to go with it, then whenever anything happens, you see it and you see it clearly and that's what you do, you were on the way to see the Christ child and you found a sick old man layin' by the roadside burnin' up with fever - - to hell with going see the Christ child, let's get this sick old man on his way. 

Did you ever read the story of the 4th Wise Man?

(Well, it’s been a long time.)

And there was no choices made, right?  He didn't ever have a choice to make.  It's called the “The 4th Wise Man”.  You heard about the three wise ment that got there.  This is the one that didn't get there because he went fiddlin' around doing all sorts of other things choicelessly.  So he started out and this would happen; and so he stopped and did it.  There was no choice - - you know - - there it is, do it.  It's in front of you to do, do it.  He got on his way and something else happened, so he got to Bethlehem, but quite a bit after the Christ child had left. 

So then he headed to Egypt; and always he ran across some joker who was doing something - - some girl was being sold into slavery, so he took the things out of his wallet that were to be the gifts for the Christ child and bought the girl and set her free.  But he was the only one who really was “one” when it all ended.  I won't tell you the story, it's interesting to read.  I think it's a very delightful story. 

(Is it called the other wise man?)

No, it's just called “The 4th wise man”.  There's only one book.  It's a very lovely little book and it's little, you know.  I only pick up books that are little.  When I see one that's this thick, leave it where I found it. 

(In other words you just start seeing things that’s high in your values?)

Well, if it's near your purpose, you'll do it; and if it's not for your purpose, you don't even bother with it.  Yes Neal?

(When this happens...........)

That your choiceless?

(No, when this experience happens about  going to work or not going to work, I did hear the B side, didn't hear the A side; but then with the process that went on with me I saw it really didn't matter.....)

Well, that’s right.  If you listen to this one it don't matter, this one don't matter.

(I want to go...........)

So let's do it.  But you see they both hollered and made their pitch, so really it doesn't matter because had you went and done what this head wanted to do all day, this head would have it's kick.  If you had gone and done what this one said, this one would have had it.  We said yesterday that you had two kids and you got up in the mornin' and one kid wanted to go to the beach and one wanted to go to the zoo.  Now if you take one to the zoo, you know  what, you got trouble with that other one all day long that wanted to go to the beach; and if you go to the beach, you got trouble with that one that wanted to go to the zoo all day.

(Ok, now there’s an act like we were talking about acting.  Now in doing that, it's an act.)

Why sure it's an act, you have to act upon it.

(Ok, you act, you make an act.  You say, ok.)

You’re doin’ it.

 (Ok, there's still that pain involved...........)

This guy’s is still threatening you no matter what.

(And the other one also.)

And the other one would have made you feel sorry for yourself had you given the nod over here and went to work.  He'd a been there pokin' at you with a little pain all day, but what's a little pain - - who cares? I'm a big boy now; I don't have to fuss about every little pain that comes along.  I’m a big boy now.  When I was a baby I cried about 'em all, but you know - - who am I that I shouldn't have any pain.  I live in this world like everybody else.

(That's the whole idea.)

I don't give a durn.

(Ok be in pain.)

I'm free to experience pain if that's what it is; and about the time you're really free to experience it …

(That’s when it goes away.)

Yeah, it's long gone over the hill right there.  It can intimidate you; but if I’m perfectly free to experience pain, I don't care what it is, a burn or anything else.....

(But it requires an act.)

And it's perfectly free to experience pain.

(And that's an intellectual thing?)

Why sure, that's what you use your head for is to remember with, right.  Remember that you're a big boy now - - who cares if you have a little pain, you know. 

(Bob, is that the purpose and........)

And the will.

(The beginning of the purpose and will being joined?)

....with a little line in the front which says that's I - - that’s a single I instead of a three-headed monster.

(I think that's terrific.)

Ok, we are ready to proceed again with whatever material that you choose to talk about.  You're here, it's your show and I'm the servant that's trying to dish out whatever you are bringing up; and if I don't know the answer, I'll act like I do. 

(Ok, one thing I really have trouble with is deciding a new purpose of living for myself.  I know one of your tapes talk about it.)

Well now we talked about that before you arrived this morning.

(Sorry.)

And if you would like, I will rerun it.  It says you ...

(I don’t want you to do that.)

Well it will only take me a split second.  I spent close to an hour on it because I could get by with it, but I'll do it quickly, ok?  It said essentially that you can't change things suddenly, ok.  So you start with the purpose you now have which is to be non-disturbed.  You do that deliberately and consciously - - that's your purpose Miss Betty.  You're gonna use whatever methods you see, preferably grown-up methods, but if they don't seem to work use complaining, sticking up for your rights, blaming the whole works to try to get it.  But the only thing I'm asking you to do is to do it intentionally, ok?

(Um hum.)

And very shortly, you will, without having to ask, find a way to change it, ok?  Because it will come up very suddenly, ok?

(Bob it seems like that particular factor is an extension of being free to experience.)

It is absolutely correct.  “Free to” is key.  So the first thing anybody does is make themselves free.  Now we're already free, but let's say you discover that you're free.  Now this is purely a discovery - - freedom is a discovery. 

(......so freedom is something that we discover we already are?)

We have been taught from infancy; and therefore, continue to try to be free from everything we didn't like.  I wanna be free from loneliness, free from pain, free from tiredness, free from you name it, ok?  Now in an attempt to be free from, even if you didn't have it for a few minutes, you don't know that it won't return, so you're still in the same boat, ok?  But really we are experiencing beings - - one very decided aspect, we are experiencing beings; and really about the only thing we can do is be experiencing, ok?  So when we discover that we're free to experience all brands of sensations, feelings, etc. we have made a discovery - - I am now free; and that possibly is the greatest discovery that a person makes, ok? 

I'm free to experience discomfort.  Now if something happened to us today that we could no longer sense any sensation that was uncomfortable to us or that we could no longer sense a feeling that was unpleasant to us, we would be in a very precarious position for survival, is that correct?  I believe anybody could see that, you would pick up something red hot, and you wouldn't know anything about it until you were severely injured; or say somebody shot you and you'd walk on down the road and fall down.  So you wouldn't know to get the bullet out or anything else. 

In fact of business, a few years ago when cortisone first came out, they found if they gave cortisone, you got over the feeling of being sick.  We'll say you had pneumonia.  Give you a shot of cortisone, you felt wonderful, you get up and walk on and do your thing and suddenly fall dead because it counteracts docca.  Docca, in the body, gives you the sense of being sick and gives you the feeling of the need to lay down.  So you take enough cortisone, it counteracts docca and you can go right on; and of course, they found it was a wonder drug for a little while till a whole bunch of people begin to fall dead who were walking around with infectious conditions and so forth - - they needed to stop.

(People do that all the time.)

Well, yeah, they just numb the pain and go on.  But you see when you discover you're a free individual, you're experiencing and you are free to experience whatever may arise in your way today.  Now there's certainly things I can do about it.   If I had a bad cut, I'm not going to just say, well, I'm gonna experience the cut.  I probably would wrap it up a little bit - - very little - - and see if it couldn't heal up.  But I would do everything I could to get it along all right.  But I'm free to experience “what is”, ok?  And you've discovered that you're a free individual.  I don't think you'd ever forget that again, either - - once you discover it.  I don’t' think you'd ever forget that Ann.  You would know that from now on, ok?  And that is the beginning of being able, then, to take charge.

Now as long as I am not free to experience, there's no way I could take charge, I'm gonna fight everything I don't like, is that right?  And I'm gonna hang on for dear life of everything I like which is just as threatening because if I'm not free to experience what's going on.  I have something I like, I want to hang onto it.  So I have people that had a wonderful experience of feeling, we'll say, last Tuesday night at 11:09.  It lasted until 11:17.  Now they've been frettin' ever since how to get it back; and they've been miserable ever since.  They would have been better off if they hadn’t had it.  So I'm free to experience joyful, delightful wonderful things, but you're also free for 'em to go, ok? 

(Right.)

So freedom is the greatest discovery I think we make that I am free to experience whatever may arise in my way today.  I didn't say I had to like it.  I don't in some cases.   But I'm perfectly free to experience it; and that “way” is the start of being in charge because then I can take charge and do what I want to about the sensation or the feeling or the situation or whatever; but thank goodness I can experience it because I would be half conscious if I couldn't experience pain, unpleasant sensations and etc. huh?  You’d be half conscious at the best.

(The first time that I was at a workshop - - the first day, I had a blinding headache; and you said go ahead and experience it; and the harder I tried to experience it, I couldn't hang onto it, it just……)

It just kept runnin' away.

(So along that line, if there is a pain, and it's a signal of something, and you're being free to experience it......)

Then you let it do its thing and get over with.

(Does that mean also....)

Let's say that you were stressed up a bit and held it in, you know, the expectation on down the line.  So you had some held motion that was working off.  Now if you're free to experience it, it'll be done very quickly.

(Right.)

But if you fight it and get anxious about that, then you have a new false feeling of emergency, a new generation of energy to fight or run, and a new adaptation, and a new misconception that this is something terrible - - it came upon me - - it's something that was sitting up there and said, "I'm a headache, let me see who I'm going to catch - - oh, I'm gonna catch Melba."  And when we believe it to be that kind of thing, we're working on a misconception, and it keeps the vicious cycle going.  We have talked on the vicious cycle a bit that it has force on us, like everything, there's a misconception here. 

What is the nature of a headache?  We've always felt it was a disease or a happening that was very unpleasant - - very unfortunate thing happened to me.  We then have a false feeling of emergency about what we believed “it” to be.  We then have chemical imbalance for the actual time, place, and circumstance along with neuro-muscular tension - - it's mobilized and unreleased energy.  And then we have an adaptation in order to burn it up - - to use all this mobilized energy up.  Now that hurts, we'll say.  You have a headache.  So then you have a misconception - - "Oh I'm so unfortunate that I have a terrible headache."  and “I've got to get rid of it." - - that is instead of freely experiencing it.  You feel the thing to do is to get rid of it, then you have a false feeling of emergency because it's hangin' around. 

Now as soon as you are free to experience it, it burned it all up right here and that is the end of it.  It didn't have to go around the wheel (vicious cycle) again.  Now that’s what all chronic disorders are is people running around that wheel year in and year out - - they just go zip, zip, zip, zip, and finally the adaptation has to change from unusual cellular activity producing unusual sensation until finally the cells are altered or break down.  They can't continue indefinitely doin' that vicious cycle over and over. 

(But now if it's something else like…..well, not a headache that results from tension but something else...)

Find out what to do about it.  In that case, it was to experience it freely - - sometimes experience it freely and then if there's something to be done about it, go see about it, ok?

(Um hum.  Now suppose you're really experiencing it freely  which is the releasing of it; and its going....)

...all the rest of this wheel or cycle...

(It's the whole thing.)

....the whole cycle is cancelled out then.  Ok?  So it is to get off the cycle that we're interested in, ok? 

(Right.)

Now you could have taken an aspirin here and it would have used some of the chemical of energy of the imbalance and neuro-muscular tension and mobilized energy to counteract the aspirin because it's a foreign substance.  It would relieve the headache....it’ll do that too.  That's the way it works.  Or you could have used many other different methods.  You could use manual manipulation - - in fact there's a dozen ways to fix it.  So you're not limited to only one - - really!  But the first thing is that you freely experience it so you can, maybe, see what to do - - some means of doing something about it, ok?

(Well, some things I've discovered if you're free to experience them for a period of time - - maybe not that fast, they still go.)

They go away, some of them are a little bigger - - more of “this” takes a little longer.  A headache is a simple little adaptation; but there’s some things you had so much buildup, it takes something else.  But if you're free to experience it, it'll go away.  But as long as you fight it and try to make it go away and you're resisting it - - conflict, struggle, resistance with it, it continues to be there and keeps that cycle goin' and will ultimately destroy the person because we're not equipped to live on that. 

We're made to live on a living cycle.   We perceive something, we have a true feeling about it, we mobilize and use the energy, and we have creative action then.  Now that's the way you were put together; but most of us have perverted it to the vicious cycle; and we more or less exist on the vicious cycle; and do not live on the living cycle.  But that's what we're talking about here is that you or any person you're working with can see how it works and go from here to here.  Then you'll put a person in a survival situation rather than being in an unsurvival situation, ok?

(The same freedom applies, Bob, to a psychological condition of anxiety?)

Right, I'm anxious, I'm perfectly free to be anxious and it won't last but a few minutes.  Right.  But if you fight anxiety, you're anxious because your anxious.  Did you know that?

(And what about economic conditions?)

Oh yeah, you're broke, so I'm free to be broke, so what.  I didn't say I had to like it, but I'm free to be broke.  So then you can do something about it - - if you get all anxious about being broke, you can't even make a buck - - even if you saw one in the street, you couldn't pick it up. 

You heard about the guy that wasn't going to work the first day he was in town?

(Yeah, you told me that one, it’s a good one.) 

(I haven’t’ heard it.)

Well, there was a young man grew up in the countryside down in Alabama somewheres and never did have much of anything.  Some of the relatives moved to Detroit, and they kept writing telling him to come up there because  everything was wonderful.  One of them finally wrote and said the money just grows on trees.  All you got to do is pick it up off the street up here. 

So the man saved up his coins very carefully and got enough to get a Greyhound Bus ticket to Detroit.  He got off the bus and started down the street and he hadn't gone 100 ft. when he saw a $50. bill lying in the street.  So he started to pick it up, but then he started thinking - - he walked around and looked at it and he backed off and went to it 3 or 4 times - - you know, he was making a choice.  Finally he scratched his head and said, "I'll be damned if I'm gonna work the first day in town." 

(Laughter)

(He said he wasn’t gonna work the first day in town?)

Well, all he had to do was pick it up off the street - - “I don't want to work the first day in town, forget it”.  Ok, so what's the next one now?  We got that one pretty well taken care of, didn't we?  Ok.  You're free to be broke and you can start making money; but if you're not free to be broke, you're in a tangled mess, right?

(Ohhhh yes.)

You just can't do anything 'cause you're paralyzed. 

(That's right, Bob.)

If you're anxious about that, then you get anxious about being anxious and "oh man" you really get in a tangle then.  And you can continue with all these things you've heard - - the thing you feared came upon you; and, oh man, you get with it and finally you get fearful to be fearful because it might come upon you. 

(Talk to me a little more please about surrender and taking charge.)

Surrender is surrendering all my ideas of what ought to be.  I don't know what ought to be.  You see some little inconvenience comes along - - we talked about it earlier this week - - a flat tire.  I don't what would have happened if I hadn't had the flat tire.  I might have just gone zippin' around the corner and become a basket case in a few minutes.  The whole thing is that surrender is giving up the idea that I know what ought to be or “should have been” for me or another.  I know what I like; but I don't know that that's what ought to be, ok?  So I quit setting up the ideals.  That's surrendering all my ideals because I don't know whether they're workable or not, ok?  That's the first half.  Now what's the other half of the question?

(Taking charge...)

And taking charge.  Now, then, I can begin to take charge of “what is”.  If I know “what ought to be”, I can't “take charge of what is” because I've already got it judged; and I'll either only fight it or cling to it.  So fighting and clinging is about the same thing.  So something comes along and I want that real good, then I “cling on to it”.  I think that is sometimes called possessiveness.  They get very tedious sometimes, huh?  Now when you are surrendering, you are saying, I don't know what ought to be.  I don't know the ideal - - the ideal is an illusion and this is what people struggle towards; and it is said that the struggle towards an illusion is the only disintegrating factor again.  That the “illusion” is “any ideal”.  So again, that is a discovery.  It is freedom when I discover that the ideal is an illusion.  Now I don’t know just how to tell a person to discover something because I think we stumble up on it.  Ideal is an illusion - - I think we all know that pretty well; so then, the only thing we can do is to discover it.  Now if I am free to look at it that way, I’ll discover it very quickly.  If I don’t know that it’s there; and I think that ideals are great - - you know society tells us that we should have very high ideals; and then they tell us in the same breath that we shouldn’t be anxious.

Now of course that is utterly impossible - - you’re gonna have one or the other; but I don’t know about what ideals are.  So we are promoted to have high ideals all the time, aren’t we Betty?  Huh?

(The higher the better.)

Right so that’s anxiety; and the greater the anxiety the more we appeal to the four great professions for assistance.  So I can see the reason for promoting this.  After having discovered that somewhat, I much more understood the story of the Good Sam.  You know the story of the Good Samaritan, huh?  He was going down the road - - there was a man, they said fell in amongst robbers or thieves - - they had robbed him, beat him up and left him for dead beside the road. 

The first person came along was a doctor, and then there was an attorney and then there was a businessman and there was a some kind of a magistrate or judge or whatever;  and each one of them saw the guy there and said, “Oh well, he’s dead or he’s a drunk or whatever and they just went on.”  So they couldn’t make a dollar off of him. 

So the people who put him there, left him there.  Then some total stranger came by and he saw the guy and poured oil and wine on his wounds which represents truth and goodness.  He put him on his horse, took him into town, got a room for him at the inn and said,  “I’ll pay for a week - - it’s looks like he’ll be ok then; but in case he’s not, I’ll pay you the next time I come by.”  He had a little credit,  so he signed a blank ticket for him and went on his way.

Now the whole question is who was neighbor to the man in the ditch.  You know, it says something about doing to your neighbors what you would have them do unto you and etc., huh?  Now the question is, who is the neighbor to the man in the ditch; and it says that you would treat your neighbor as yourself, ok?  Now who was the neighbor to the man in the ditch?  Was it the people who beat him up and put him there - - not so as you could tell it.  Was it the people that ignored him and left him - - were they his neighbors?  No. 

So does the man that was in the ditch have any reason for treating those people as himself for the rest of his life? But there was one guy got him out; and you might say in affect, saved his life.  If the countryside was like what I think it was, like Arizona or New Mexico and you leave a guy layin’ out there in the hot sun these days, he not gonna live very long. 

So I would say that the Good Sam saved his life.  Now then, the man that was in the ditch would - - if something was happening to the Good Sam that got him out and took him into town and put him in the inn, and somebody said, “I’m gonna give him a hard way to go,”  The guy says,  “You got me to contend with first.” 

Now, with that you see, I don’t think we have so many neighbors in the world - - now if I’ve listened to it through sentimentality that “everybody’s your neighbor and your supposed to do everything for everybody”.  The question is very specifically asked in that story - - who proved himself neighbor to the man in the ditch.  You ever read that story?  Is that the way it says it?

(Yes.)

Exactly.  Who proved himself neighbor to the man in the ditch.  The whole story is about the man in the ditch.  So I think that maybe I could understand that; but not as a universal principle that somebody’s gonna cause me or my loved one troubles, and I don’t know as I feel so obligated to do all the things for them, ok? 

But I wouldn’t have any trouble being what to me is a neighbor in that case, ok? 

Now the man that was riding the horse and picked him up and fixed him, he was the guy that his purpose was to be, what to him, was being a good guest; and by his action became a neighbor to the man in the ditch, ok? 

(Back to my surrender and take charge.)

Ok.

(I may have an ideal that I want to be more awake - - it doesn’t seem like….)

Maybe that is not an ideal - - maybe that is a purpose or an intention; and if you really mean that as a purpose or intention, it’s fine.  If you make it as an ideal then you’re already anxious because you’re not more awake.  To be “more” is something you can certainly work on; and I would “surrender ideals” which says I gotta have so and so or else I can’t be happy. 

Now I suppose a person could make an ideal out of anything; but an “ideal is something that you feel that you are entitled to and you must have in order to get along”. 

Something you’re willing to work for is not an ideal, that is an aim, that good enough?  They’re different, ok?  The ideal is just the way things ought to be without any effort on my part - - that’s the way they outta be; and I can get very uppity because things aren’t like they ought to be.

(A lot of people think the idea of surrender means you lay down and you don’t do anything.)

I’m not talking about that. 

(No, I didn’t think you were.)

My idea of surrender is to surrender all ideals that I know what ought to be and that’s all.  No I’m not going to surrender unless the guy’s bigger than I am and he’s beatin’ me up - - I say you got me.  I’m like the little dog; and I learned that from a dog - - when you get a big dog hop on a little dog, the little dog lays down and sticks his throat open and the other dog won’t hurt him.

So if he’s bigger than I am or he’s got the weapon - - oh, I surrender with the greatest of ease; but that, again, is a simple matter of what’s to my advantage under the circumstance.  As far as the situation of thinking surrender is saying I’m gonna lay down and let life do what it wants to - -  no, we’re not talking about the ideas that I’ve heard in some places like the Orient.  The point is that I don’t know what ought to be - - that is the greatest surrender that everybody has to make is that I don’t know what ought to be because we are firmly convinced with that and that is our vanity and pride that we think we do know what ought to be.

(What you don’t surrender is what you’d like?)

Huh?

(What you don’t surrender is what you’d like.  I’d like to change the fact that I don’t have a job to the fact that I do have a job.)

Well, then I’m going to go to work on that - - in other words, I’m free to be out of work right now; therefore, I’m free to go get me another job or go to work or build me a business or whatever, right?  Now I’m not gonna surrender and say well, I’m out of a job so I’ll forever be out of a job - - I’m sick, so I’ll forever be sick, so I’ll just hide back here in this little hole and I’m gonna sit here and suffer.  No - - I wanna feel good.

(I don’t want to surrender my preferences.)

…..No, no, no way - - the only thing that we’re talkin’ about in surrender is that you surrender the idea that you know what ought to be for you and everybody - - especially others.  It’s awful easy to have that one - - that I know what you ought to be doing; and I know what Bill ought to be doing. 

I get long lectures in here from some of the people who know what I ought to be doing.  Now I really shouldn’t be sitting here wasting my time talking to people and answering telephones for people who feel bad - - after all with my talents and ability I could be out there making a lot of money.  Now what I should do is get on that ball and get with it.  I listen to this lecture quite frequently and I always make various cooing sounds and say Uh Huh - - I been thinkin’ about that - - and I really should be doin’ that; but I know an awful lot of people can make money and I know very few people can do what I do; and that’s not pattin’ myself on the back or twistin’ my arm out of socket to get back here to my wings or anything; but it’s a literal fact, I know exactly what I’m doin’ so I’m gonna go on and do it.   Ok? 

But I do listen to the lecture about what I should be involved in.  I get a phone call several times a week from certain individuals that says I got this big deal, we can make a big fortune on it and I said, “Well, I’m busy.”    “Well what are you busy doin’?”  I said, “Well, working with people seems to be part of it.”  Then I get the long lecture how I gotta quit this foolishness and get with it and make a lot of money.

Now I know a lot of people around that individual; and very few of ‘em are better off than the general run.  They’re sick.  They’re fightin’.  They’re worried and they’re struggling with each other including the very closest ones around that individual.  I do see that a lot of people I talk with that are functioning an awful lot better than they were some time ago; and so I think I’m a very rich man - - not in dollars and cents - - that’s beside the point.  I haven’t so far had to go hungry or cold.  I’ve been cold up in Idaho, but that wasn’t  because I didn’t have anything.  And I have lovely people around me and so forth; and so I think I’m a very rich man, ok?  But yes, I get lots of advice.  You get any of that Bill?

(For sure and certain.)

But I make cooing sounds.  I agree with it 100% - - cooingly.  I know I should be doing it, but probably it’s just I’m lazy.

(I usually do agree with it.  It depends on how close I am to a person.  I find that…..)

If they’re close you can fight with ‘em.

(Yeah, if your close to ‘em, I find that sometimes they get through to me.)

Well, I don’t ever let it get though - - I don’t care where it comes from.  I just agree with it wholeheartedly.  That’s what I should be doing.  I know that and it’s just this big procrastination I have; but I’m gonna get to it here pretty soon - - as soon as I can get over my procrastination, ok?  And I have no intention of doing it - - that’s right?

My Mother and Dad always told me what I ought to do, and I agreed with them wholeheartedly.  Then they'd get very upset because I said I was gonna do it; and I didn't do it.  I didn't say I was gonna do it; I just said, "You're right."  I always think everybody's right.  Nasrudin's stories, everybody's right, you know. 

Nasrudin got elected to be the local magistrate; and so they brought the first case before him - - a little law suit haggling  between two neighbors.  And so one of 'em got up and told his story and Nasrudin said, "You're right."  And the bailiff said, "You can't say, 'You're right’ until you've heard the other side."  "Aw yes, you're right, let's hear the other side."  So the other guy come up and told his story.  He said, "You're right."  The bailiff came around and said, "You can't say they're both right."  He said, "You are right."  Case is over with now.  So that's about the way to handle all those things, Bill, "You're right."  You know, you're absolutely right, friend - - that's the way it is.

You see, I just consider your viewpoint.  Ok?  So you may want to insist to me, we'll say, that people should all wear green, ok?  Now I will consider your viewpoint, but I probably won't wear green because it makes me look slightly ill unless it's a very particular shade of green, ok?  So I will consider your viewpoint, ok?  But I wouldn't necessarily attempt to go along with it, so I don't feel that’s being considerate of me, it only means that I take your viewpoint into consideration - - not that I agree with it or am going along with it, ok?  Now is that difficult to do? 

(No.)

I don't think so.  But I think that a not i said, “If you're considerate of people you're going to please 'em.”

(Well, I was also thinking in terms of - - well, like children - - if you take care of them beyond the point that they can take care of themselves, you're certainly not being harmless.)

Well, I would say that's appropriate you know.  I think that at a certain age you should have children call you by your first name; and you theirs; and let's be friends and quit playing this child/parent game for a while.  Ruth loves that, you know, except she won't do it.  Now I wouldn't say that I would always come up and say that was harmful because I don't think under certain cases it would be - - it all depends at the moment of what the situation is. 

(It's a problem...)

Well, there's no problem - - if I would do it for a stranger, I don't see why I wouldn't do it for the kids, ok?  

(Oh, that does give it a different observation, doesn’t it?)

 In other words, you're no more obligated to do anything for them than you would, we’ll say, Betty, or somebody else.  If it wouldn't seem like a sound business proposition for you to do it for a stranger, don't do it for the kid once you get them to this stage where they're able to do their own thing, ok?  And you can pick any age you want to for that - - one lady told me not long ago, she thought all kids ought to be orphans by the time they were five, they’d get along better.  They live with friends after that instead of family. 

(Well, what sort of way am I being a parent and not a friend?)

I don't know.

(Well, you just said I won’t do it.)

Well, that's what I said - - next time Christopher whines, you will start doing your thing to take care of it - - a friend would say, "Well, I think that's nice."

(Well, he was complaining the other day and I sat and listened for a while; and then I thought, "This is ridiculous, I don't want to listen to this anymore.")

Well, that's what I told him on the phone this morning.  "Look this is ridiculous, I don't want to listen to you." and hung up. 

(And then about a half an hour later he came to me and  said, "I'm not going to talk like that with you anymore - - it's just a waste of time.")

That's right, if you won't sympathize with me, why I'm wasting my time.

(But I didn't tell him that I wasn't going to do that.)

You just decided yourself that it was worthless.  Well, he picked it up.  You don't have to hit him over the head with a hammer to get something in his head.  He's a bright boy.

(But he always becomes so desperate like he’s not gonna live - - like he’s gonna commit suicide.)

Well, naturally.   Just this morning he was afraid the body was falling apart, he was going totally deaf and all these things.  I said, "Well, that's all right, we got a widget to take care of that - - just don't bother with it." 

(Technology will take over.)

Right - - We’ll fix you up some way. 

(Did you tell him what do about his hair falling out?  He went to the doctor about transplants and when they said sometimes it leaves scars; then he was in a terrible state whether to have a bald head or a bald head with scars.)

I’d have a told him to shave it - - then he wouldn't have to worry about going bald, he's got a shaved head, you're non-bald, take charge of it, shave it off.

(It made Yul Brenner famous and a fortune.)

And a lot of other people - - just shave your head, so then you won't ever go bald, you shaved.  Ok next question, comment.  Yes sir?

(Would you talk a little bit about this paradox of this methodless method - - the idea that Krishnamurti is quite clear on that there really is no method.)

That is absolutely correct; but there is a million methods.  So then there's one or none - - one or endless means the same.  It's like something is priceless or it has no price at all on it - - it means

Continued............

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